Weekend Wonderings

Alice sent me this brilliant TED talk, and said that it might be interesting for the AOW community. And I think she was right. I think it is so relevant to so many of us…nearly every single one of us is either in our twenties, or is just out of them. I watched it a few weeks ago now, and I still find myself coming back to it, thinking about it, trying to work out whether I agree.

We’re all growing up in a generation where it’s acceptable, almost encouraged, to put life off. To not grow up too early. To not have a career, get married, or have kids too early. This TED talk sort of challenges that perception.

I’m not going to say any more, because Meg Jay can say it much more eloquently than I can…. go HERE.

 

 

Categories: Weekend Wonderings, Written By Clare
3 interesting thoughts on this

3 Comments

  1. Posted July 13, 2013 at 9:51 am | Permalink

    I listened to this the other week, and then sent it to M asking his opinion which he never sent.

    I did “waste” 5 years on something I knew deep down was not going to work, but it put me where I am now. I was so ambitious in my early twenties and only really didn’t pursue one of my options (possibly becoming a parliamentary secretary) for the simple reason that I knew long term it would put me somewhere I did not want to be – the hours in that job are still more than I would ever want to do. It gave me a lot to think about. I know people who are 40ish who do regret putting stuff/life off in their twenties but I feel a lot of my friends were so hyper aware that this was our moment if we wanted careers, that there was not all the time in the world if we wanted children and that we had to prioritise.

    I don’t know how much more widespread that is, but it feels like something real. At the same time though, I know people of my own age who didn’t know they wanted to be where they want to be now if they had not made the seemingly listless choices of their twenties, and a lot of those people, who, yes have to retrain etc, are going to be ace at those jobs precisely because of what they experienced in their twenties.

    For example, I would have been wrong to consider training to be a counsellor in my twenties as I was not in that place yet, it was my twenties where I dealt with a lot of my stuff and sorted it out.

    I think it is a growth decade and apparently have a lot to say about it (I think I would have a more coherent response later) but basically, I think she has a point, but it is not the be all and end all. I think people who are thirty and feel they could have done more DO still have time, but acting sooner rather than later is probably better.

    I know what my dreams are for my thirties, they are not that different from the dreams I had for them at twenty and, I could be there earlier I guess, but I’d be missing out on friendships, my relationship and a whole bunch of things that I think enrich my life and make it better than I could have imagined then. So I’ll take my “wasted” decade, and embrace where it has got me.

  2. Posted July 13, 2013 at 11:18 am | Permalink

    Hi girls,

    I was intrigued about the video, because I am actually working with “emerging adulthood” in my PhD. Emerging Adulthood goes from 18 to 29 (more less), so it is about twenty something´s.

    I saw the talk and I am not so sure about what she is selling us, but I can say that she is only talking about a prescript world where every one wants to marry, to have kids (more than one actually), and to have a job that is (for what I can get) succesfull economically talking. However, I agree when she talk about choosing, about everything, and also when she says that every decision counts (or similar).

    So I don´t know how it works for you guys but for me 20s are-were a great time where you live, like all the other times in life. Where you can study or not, travel or not, having kid or plan to or not, working in whatever you want, living alone, cohabitating, living with your sister, your family, your husband. You have the freedom to decide, to choose as in any other lifestage…

    I dont know if I´d make sense, but you can make an idea of emerging adulthood looking for Jeffrey Arnett and also I leave you these 2 links: http://edition.cnn.com/2013/07/09/opinion/bors-millenial-comic-strip/index.html?sr=sharebar_facebook and http://edition.cnn.com/2013/07/09/opinion/bors-millenial-comic-strip/index.html?cid=sf_twitter

    PS Also we have to remember that not in every country, culture, or socio-economic group this kind of 20´s as a lifestage happens.

    (sorry for the typos)

  3. Posted July 13, 2013 at 11:28 am | Permalink

    I half agree with this and half don’t. You do have to do things just for the fun of it or where is al the fun in life. Also you learn more from mistakes than success

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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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