The AOW A-Z of Getting Married – T is for Talking Point

The AOW A-Z of Getting Married is a resource for brides (and grooms) to be.  It’s a welcome piece of sanity in an industry-saturated world where people are bombarded with what weddings they should have, what they should act like, and how a bride should feel.  Created by the team behind Any Other Woman, this A-Z is the first collaboration of its kind, bringing together posts from readers across the AOW community filled with advice, wisdom and experience from sane, smart, real women, many of whom have been there.  From wedding planning to family trials to breaking taboos, no topic is out of bounds.  We are honoured and excited to run each and every post, and we learn from each and every one of our readers.

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T is for Talking Point by Bex, who blogs at The Olive Dragonfly

(Photos by the talented Matt Wagster, other than where noted and the ones in Becky’s kitchen!)

Nik and I really wanted the food to be a talking point at our wedding.  We both, me especially, love food and it’s a huge part of our lives – cooking and eating out.  I had plenty of little details organised for our big day, knowing many of them would go unnoticed by most of our guests, although they made me happy.  Obviously you don’t NEED to have a talking point – the fact you are making a huge commitment in front of everyone is enough of one in itself but I really wanted to remember the food – and in a good way!  I know it can be difficult to get a good meal served to over a hundred people all at once while on a budget and there is hardly any information or discussion about food when browsing wedding blogs and magazines.  Despite this, we wanted the food to be as much a part of our day as the decor, if not more so.  In the end, we opted for curry!


One of the major themes of our day was the fusion of Indian and Scottish cultures as our families came together to celebrate (although I’m not strictly Scottish, I was brought up here and consider it my home, I’m so glad my Dad was happy to wear a kilt, despite being a Yorkshire man!)  We also wanted food we would really enjoy and not necessarily the ‘usual’ wedding fare.  We decided to have an Indian feast for the main meal and Scottish for the evening buffet.  Curries are easier to produce well in large quantities and get out hot with a little variety too.  We served a selection of starters including my favourite – tandoori lamb chops, followed by bowls of prawn, lamb, chicken, lentil and potato curries on the tables with rice, salad and naan bread.  It was AMAZING!  (I did use about five napkins over my dress, just in case!)  The sharing of all the food also helped to break the ice with tables of strangers, we tried to mix up our families during dinner so they could get to know each other – also helped by the bigger than planned family BBQ the day before!  It really was a food based weekend as I believe all the best weekends are!!

We’re not huge fans of Indian desserts so went with a combination of some of our favourites instead – chocolate brownie, lemon posset and crème brûlée.


We then served cheese (mainly because I wanted to style a cheese table, use all my cake stands and have cheese mice, but also since cheese is a huge weakness of ours!), tea, coffee and Scottish tablet.

Our evening buffet was vegetarian haggis and lamb stovies, yum!  We may be guilty of over-feeding but a pet hate of mine is going hungry at a wedding.  Even the favours were food related – home-made green chilli jam and green tomato & vanilla jam with dragonfly shaped home-made cheese biscuits!



(Place names made by my uber-talented Mum!  Photo thanks to our friend Nazlie!)

It turns out the food is one of the things people are still talking about from our day.  It’s so lovely catching up with family and friends I hardly know from Nik’s side of the family and they still mention how much they loved the humanist ceremony and our food (a bonus as many of them are Indian and know good Indian food!).  One of the other things I’ve noticed people still talk about is the Indian Dhol drummer playing along with the Bagpipes after the ceremony.  It worked really well and even the staff at the venue mentioned how much they loved it. There was even some spontaneous Bhangra dancing (see 2:48 in the film)!

Photo taken by Ruth (old neighbour and part of our string quartet)


I love that our two main fusion themed ideas were the food and music.  Two things I think bring most people together!!



Categories: A-Z of Getting Married
19 interesting thoughts on this


  1. Posted January 9, 2013 at 11:14 am | Permalink

    Cheeeeeeese alllll the cheeeeese!!

    Every event should have a cheese table !!!

    I love the bagpiper and drummer- and you look AMAZING! And I love curry. This is a winner.

  2. Posted January 9, 2013 at 11:24 am | Permalink

    I love your cheese table too – that would definitely be a talking point for me!!

    Your wedding looks gorgeous! No wonder people had plenty to talk about during it. And I’m now hoping that my husband never sees this post, as he’d be so jealous knowing you had curry… I’d probably be fired so he can have a new curry-centric wedding.

  3. Gemma C-S
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 11:32 am | Permalink

    I don’t know how you’d narrow down just one talking point from your wedding Bex! There were millions! One of them being the amount of effort you put into everything which I’m sure is something your guests will never ever forget xx

  4. Posted January 9, 2013 at 11:59 am | Permalink

    So happy to see another wedding with a curry feast! We chose curry because it is our absolute favourite food and as a nod to Anglo-Indian heritage on my Mum’s side. Our wonderful chef recreated my Grandma’s recipe for lamb meatballs and then came up with two side dishes to complement the flavours, including a fabulous brinjal dish which I still dream about. Some in-laws voiced their concern ahead of the big day but this was mainly to do with unfamiliarity and that awful preconception that Indian food = scorching hot vindaloo. They wanted an ‘alternative’ for those who didn’t like curry but we reassured them that the mix of dishes would suit everyone. It was a joy to see so many people tucking in on our wedding day, particularly those for whom it was a bit of an educational experience!

    I think your post really highlights how you can incorporate personal touches and nods to tradition/heritage/favourite things. I wish more people would do the same with their wedding food! I love the thought that I’m eating someone’s favourite pudding or a dish with a bit of history :)

  5. Peridot
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 12:49 pm | Permalink

    Ha – I’ve just commented on the previous post on how important I think food and drink is for a wedding (or indeed any party. Or, you know, life). So I’m singing from the choir as it were! But this looks amazing and I think a curry is a wonderful idea – SO much better than chicken in an interminate sauce.

    We had pheasant wrapped in parma ham in a mushroom ‘jus’ (with dauphinoise potato, parsnip and spinach) as our main course for our November wedding and had a few moans about how WEIRD it was but far, far more comments about how amazing the food was. And we’re quite foody so wanted something that we’d want to eat (since we were forking out (ha ha!) loads of money for it) and that was seasonal. So I’m unmoved by the pheasant nay-sayers and am still pleased with our choice.

  6. Posted January 9, 2013 at 12:49 pm | Permalink

    My mouth is watering! Really intrigued at the concept of green tomato and vanilla jam, can I have the recipe or is it a family secret?.

    And there should ALWAYS be a cheese table.

  7. Yanthé
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 1:02 pm | Permalink

    This may be the best wedding I have ever seen. Curry and cheese, what more could anyone need?! And how super-talented are you Bex? Those favours look amazing and I am not normally in favour of favours (oh dear).

  8. Posted January 9, 2013 at 1:09 pm | Permalink

    Ah it’s always lovely to see bits of Bex’s wedding! That cheese table is truly epic.
    We’re BBQing – we love it, James’s fussy dad likes it, there’s something for everyone, it’s cheap – what’s not to love.

  9. Becca
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 1:52 pm | Permalink

    I need to know where those glass covers came from.

    We’re having lamb for our summer main which you either love or hate. But we love it and we’re buying everyone dinner so we’re having it. We’re also offering pan fried monkfish or goats cheese and asparagus wellington. Like Peridot said, we wanted to avoid dry chicken breast in white wine sauce. The deserts are (note the plural), quite frankly, epic.

    For evening we’re having a hog roast (although our venue allows you to bring in a Pizza van if you want – I have their details) because my brother and I used to work for the company in our university summer holidays…..and the crackling is immense. I realise it might be a lot but I would also much rather overfeed than have people hungry.

    As an aside, what is everyone doing for Children? Our caterer offers burgers/chicken fingers etc etc and chips (which I’m against) or a shepherds pie/lasagne option or a smaller portion of the adults food. I was thinking of the lasagne and some garlic bread? I don’t want food they won’t eat but I also refuse to have chips at our wedding. Refuse.

    • Posted January 9, 2013 at 2:18 pm | Permalink

      Shepherds pie or lasagne might be a good bet? Our options for children are similar, mostly basic like sausage and chips, or half an adult portion – we’re thinking of fish for our main course which children can be fussy about. Not sure which to go for!

    • Peridot
      Posted January 9, 2013 at 2:29 pm | Permalink

      I agree – chicken fingers and chips would be a sacrilege. Lasagne and garlic bread sounds delicious. We did bangers and mash! Some of the adults were greedily eyeing it too. (In fact, some of the pheasant complainers asked why they couldn’t have it. BECAUSE YOU ARE AN ADULT AND THIS IS THE CHILDREN’S OPTION. Grrrr)

    • Posted January 9, 2013 at 10:12 pm | Permalink

      Becca, do you mean on the cheese table? The cloches? They both came with those stands. One’s a cheese board borrowed from a friend and one’s a cake stand I bought on ebay.

      Most of the children at our wedding ate the curries but we had macaroni cheese (easy and satisfying) for a few younger non-Indian kids and my 80 year old grandmother who doesn’t eat anything remotely spicy.

  10. Zan
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 1:58 pm | Permalink

    Oooooh I love the video! Got me all teary :) As always Bex, your wedding looks like it was so much fun! And gorgeous too.

    We toyed with the idea of having curry, but it was just too tricky with most of Noel’s family. I think we have enough food – our ceremony won’t be until 4.30pm and we’re feeding people 3 times after that…think that’s enough? ;)

  11. Posted January 9, 2013 at 2:03 pm | Permalink

    Oh this sounds like such a great wedding.
    I wanted to say, I love dragonflies and green is my favorite color: I am in love with your favors. That pyramid of jelly bottles looks so pretty. Also cheese. I don’t think I will be able (or want to) go fully vegan 100% of the time because of my love for cheese, all kinds of it.

  12. Katie
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 3:54 pm | Permalink

    Oh wow Bex. Fabulous. I love fabulous food at a wedding, and live music.

  13. Posted January 9, 2013 at 9:09 pm | Permalink

    I will never tire of looking at those cheese mice.

    Bex your attention to detail boggles my brain. You could actually write a whole book on all the details of your big day, so much care and inspiration went into it!

    And now I want to eat a curry.


  14. Posted January 9, 2013 at 10:24 pm | Permalink

    Thanks for all the lovely comments about our wedding folks! :D Love that so many others have had curry too (there was another comment on twitter)! I did have a line in there about chicken dinners but took it out as didn’t want to offend anyone who has/did choose that. Have to say I don’t love it though. Loving the sound of pheasant, lamb and BBQ!!

    Frances – the recipe for the jams are on my blog. (Apparently not searchable since I changed the name of the blog after writing all the planning stuff though so here it is…
    Biscuit recipe here… and more about the cheese table here…

    • Frances
      Posted January 10, 2013 at 9:13 am | Permalink

      Thanks Bex – I’ll give them a try! :-D

  15. Posted January 16, 2013 at 11:02 am | Permalink

    Love love LOVE

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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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