AOW A-Z of Getting Married – K is for Knickers

The AOW A-Z of Getting Married is a resource for brides (and grooms) to be.  It’s a welcome piece of sanity in an industry-saturated world where people are bombarded with what weddings they should have, what they should act like, and how a bride should feel.  Created by the team behind Any Other Woman, this A-Z is the first collaboration of its kind, bringing together posts from readers across the AOW community filled with advice, wisdom and experience from sane, smart, real women, many of whom have been there.  From wedding planning to family trials to breaking taboos, no topic is out of bounds.  We are honoured and excited to run each and every post, and we learn from each and every one of our readers.

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K is for Knickers by Anna

OK ladies, let’s talk about pants. The boudoir shots and the perfume adverts and your fiancés imagination are all saying sexy, sexy, sexy.

I am saying body condom, body condom, body condom.

Stop frowning at me.

In all honesty I did try and bring you some roving reporter style photos to accompany this post but, for want of a better expression, it all went a bit-tits up.

Anyway, if you’ve got total body confidence or built in corsetry then by all means look away now.

For the rest of us with wobbly bits we’re not sure what to do with, strapless dresses we’re not used to wearing and the prospect of a camera being shoved in our faces all day, let’s proceed.

If you have not discovered the miracle of ‘shapewear’ yet then allow me to introduce you to your new best friend. Brides (and anyone venturing to a Christmas party) meet Shapewear; multi-tasker, works on initiative, ultimate problem solver.

These bad boys make Bridget Jones knickers look skimpy. They laugh in the face of corsets that take another person to strap you in. They might not look very attractive but what they lack in beauty they more than make up for in smoothness once covered in clothing.

Whether it’s a perkier bottom you’re after or a little nip in at the waist there is an item for shapewear for everyone. There might even be a few you can layer to create the perfect silhouette. This is beginning to sound like a really crap advert on the radio or something but it truly has to be seen to be believed.

It’s a bit like the dating scene; you’re probably going to have to kiss a few frogs before you find the one. Take it from me, it’s worth the bother.

Sure you could get some gorgeous lingerie but realistically, are you going to wear that again? Honestly? I have a beautiful cream corset from the wedding sitting in my wardrobe that will likely never see the light of day again. On the other hand I have two downright genius body shapers that I bought this year that have been worn to every wedding and party this summer and I wish I’d known about them before. They cinch me in, they stop me getting too drunk because only a certain amount of liquid will comfortably fit and yes I do look like I’m wearing a full body sized condom but it’s absolutely worth it.

Try them. Try them all.  There’s a body condom out there waiting to make you look 10lbs lighter. You just have to find it…. and then hide it underneath pretty clothes.

 

Categories: A-Z of Getting Married, Uncategorized
39 interesting thoughts on this

39 Comments

  1. Posted October 31, 2012 at 11:16 am | Permalink

    HAH! whenever I see the word ‘knickers’ I can’t help but giggle like a child. Toilet/child humour…me?!

    Anyway. I recently went out and bought a very expensive, very saucy bra and knickers set for wearing under Le Dress. It isn’t boned, or corseted, so I shall be using only what I’ve got to rock the thing. Now, the pretty lacies make me feel very nice and sexy, but if on the day I’m a little wobbly or nervous you can be sure that my down-to-the-knees-tucked-under-bra-strap pair of Spax will be going on.

    Yup. Sometimes, you just need some extra… support. Especially after that 4-course dinner! :P

    x

  2. Posted October 31, 2012 at 11:17 am | Permalink

    I’ve ordered a backless shapewear bodysuit that will hopefully arrive soon. If it’s crap, does anyone have any alternative suggestions?

    • Bella
      Posted October 31, 2012 at 11:24 am | Permalink

      If you email me the style of your dress I am sure I have about 70 possible alternatives!!xx

      • Posted October 31, 2012 at 11:26 am | Permalink

        You’re on! Sending imminently. x

    • Posted October 31, 2012 at 11:26 am | Permalink

      does it need straps? I have a backless suit from What Katy Did which is damn sexy: similar to this http://www.whatkatiedid.com/product/517/corselette

      x

      • Posted October 31, 2012 at 11:38 am | Permalink

        I’d prefer straps but they’re not essential, it’s the v low back that’s the must have.
        Will look at that when I’m not at work! Thanks

        • Sukeyroo
          Posted October 31, 2012 at 11:55 am | Permalink

          How about this? Definitely a v low back! I thought about it for my wedding but kind of reeled at the cost and also realised that it wouldn’t work because of the straps – my dress had chiffon sides so I needed to go entirely bra-less in the end. Anyway, I still had this link on my list of “wedding ideas”!
          http://www.enderlegardcorsetry.com/lingerie/carmen/

          • Posted October 31, 2012 at 12:12 pm | Permalink

            What I’ve ordered is quite similar to this (though much cheaper) – fingers crossed it does the job.

      • Pickle
        Posted October 31, 2012 at 1:08 pm | Permalink

        I tried one of those (the What Katie Did corselette) but it didn’t work under my dress because the seams showed through – if your dress is a bit less silky/slinky than mine was these would be ACE though – once you can wrestle your way into the thing they are going nowhere.

  3. Fran
    Posted October 31, 2012 at 11:24 am | Permalink

    Ok I’m sold. I’ll get some sexy pants for the next day but you’re right, spanks are a gift that keeps giving!

    Any recommendations for good buys? Never bought anything like this before so suggestions gratefully received.

    • Posted October 31, 2012 at 11:28 am | Permalink

      I recommend the real deal Spanx. They are the only ones that I’ve found to not shift or roll up/down and the high waist ones are crotchless so you don’t even need to worry about toilet issues. I wear them under all of my evening dresses and won’t leave the house without mine if I’m going to a fancy dinner/do.
      x

      • Fran
        Posted October 31, 2012 at 11:57 am | Permalink

        Thanks Laura, I will investigate. Crotchless sounds good (ooer!) to save spending the day peeling off said underwear.

        P.s. spankx not spanks! My predictive text it obviously saucier than I realised ;)

      • Anon
        Posted October 31, 2012 at 1:13 pm | Permalink

        Hmm… on that point… now may be the time to admit I had something of a Spanx malfunction on my wedding day. Firstly on my body shape the sodding things kept rolling down all day from bra-strap level to scrumpled-up-around-the-waist and secondly… shall we just say don’t trust them as much as I did when they say crotchless and easy to pee in without removal… enough information? A hairdryer had to be employed to remedy the situation (all done with utmost stealth so no-one knew a thing until I drunkenly recounted the story to my husband months later).
        Still: Not. A. Good. Look.

        • Posted October 31, 2012 at 2:58 pm | Permalink

          oh no! This is the first i’ve heard of this – I never have a problem with mine :(

  4. Posted October 31, 2012 at 11:41 am | Permalink

    I had to wear a stick on bra for my wedding as my lovely backless dress did not allow for a normal bra and I did not want my nipples on parade all day. Also I am fuller busted. Some say if you have a fuller bust don’t get a dress with a keyhole back. They are wrong. Dress made me cry (in a good way) so it was all about the solution underwear. Selfridges lingerie department is great for a good try on if you need it and live near – they have lots of eyewateringly expensive stuff, but not all the shapewear is, and it is lovely and so are they. Shapewear for the win!

  5. Posted October 31, 2012 at 11:46 am | Permalink

    I have never worn spanx but have been considering it for under my wedding dress. My only worry is that it will be really uncomfortable, especially after eating our wedding breakfast and hopefully persuading someone to give me seconds of the delicious chocolate dessert!! Any hints on which ones are the comfiest? its my belly that I am worried about. xox

  6. Katielase
    Posted October 31, 2012 at 12:24 pm | Permalink

    I think this is my favourite post on any wedding topic ever. BRILLIANT.

    That said, I have got to be a voice of dissent at the Spanx party. I couldn’t face wearing body control underwear under my dress, it’s just so restrictive and above everything else on my day I wanted to be comfortable. I wore big comfy M&S pants, like I do 90% of my life.

    I would have worn sexy lacy whatsits instead of body-control scaffolding but, first, that wouldn’t be terribly ‘me’ (I mostly aim for kick-ass sexy, not slinky sexy). And second, this may be way TMI but can I just go right across the boundary of appropriate blog comment conversation, shed all remaining dignity I have amongst you gorgeous ladies and bring up the W-Word? Wedgies? No-one EVER discusses this but it was a serious consideration for me. So many sexy pairs of pants just disappear up there when I wear them. Do I have a bum that encourages wedgies?! Vacuum ass? Or is the rest of womankind just sufficiently poised and elegant to ignore them when they occur and not do that awkward shuffle to try and dislodge them hands-free, as it were, followed by the inevitable attempt at subtle hands-on removal? Huge pants were a must for me, really, after all three of my bridesmaids declined the dubious honour of becoming my dedicated Wedgie Removal Bridesmaid.

    K x

    • Posted October 31, 2012 at 12:43 pm | Permalink

      Katie your use of the term “Vacuum Ass” just sky rocketed you to being one of my favourite people in the world!! I’m with you 100%, I rocked me some big pants on the day and couldn’t have been comfier :) x

    • Posted October 31, 2012 at 12:56 pm | Permalink

      I wore lacy pants but they were ones I’d tested so I knew I would not get a wedding wedgie – I am so glad I am not the only person who was considering this. Mine stayed put as I bought them a size too big so they would not wriggle where I did not want them too. I love your comment! LOVE it.

    • Posted October 31, 2012 at 1:13 pm | Permalink

      bah ha ha! Favourite comment ever. :D

    • Lara Blue
      Posted October 31, 2012 at 1:37 pm | Permalink

      Katie my dear, you realise that this is becoming a theme right? That some of your most AWESOME comments (this one actually being my favourite comment ever) revolve around the theme of knickers….
      If you don’t know what I mean, I shall direct your attention here: http://anyotherwoman.com/2012/10/calling-all-creatives/#comments
      In light of this, perhaps you should call your blog “Vacuum Ass”? Or “Knicker Bocker Glory”? Apologies for the pants suggestions (I couldn’t help myself, sorry)…..xx

      • Katielase
        Posted October 31, 2012 at 1:48 pm | Permalink

        Hmm, you’re right, this is becoming a theme. Is it wrong that I now want to call my blog Science Knickers? Even though this clearly makes no sense as a title?

        K x

        • Lara Blue
          Posted October 31, 2012 at 1:56 pm | Permalink

          I thought the “Vacuum” part would contribute the science but yes, perhaps, ass is not really something you want in your blog title. You would get interesting hits from google though!
          How about “Scientist, Cakesplorer, and Knicker-comedian”?xx

          • Lara Blue
            Posted October 31, 2012 at 2:00 pm | Permalink

            “Pants and progress- the science of life”?

            • Katielase
              Posted October 31, 2012 at 2:03 pm | Permalink

              I actually LOVE that last one. Also “Scientist, Cakesplorer, and Knicker-comedian” might have to become my new Twitter bio!

              K x

              • Lara Blue
                Posted October 31, 2012 at 2:20 pm | Permalink

                Ha ha, I still need to write one of those…. :)

    • Zan
      Posted October 31, 2012 at 1:57 pm | Permalink

      Bahahahahaha……. I just spat water out over my laptop! Brilliant… I totally worry about that too. You are not alone! Have yet to decide which direction to go in with wedding underwear, but that’s is one of my primary concerns.

      • Lara Blue
        Posted October 31, 2012 at 2:02 pm | Permalink

        This is the very real danger with AOW posts and comments, there should be warning signs and reminders “Do NOT, on pain of wet malfunctioning computers, read AOW whilst drinking”…..

  7. Fee
    Posted October 31, 2012 at 12:34 pm | Permalink

    I wore Spanx for the control issues and because they practically came down to my knees, they prevented me from getting sweaty, scratchy legs from the multiple tulle layers of my rather impractical dress.

    I am HOT.

  8. Posted October 31, 2012 at 12:54 pm | Permalink

    Oh the pants! I was obsessed with making sure I had a flat stomach for the wedding photos because we’d been to a wedding a few months earlier where my husband pointed out the bride’s dress made her stomach look stick out- she’s actually a very slim girl but it was something to do with all the ruching/ruffles on her dress I think. I was determined to avoid the “ruffle tummy” effect so I wore the M&S spankx-esque pants to suck everything in and then realised at the last minute that I had nothing blue to wear so shoved on a pair of blue frilly pants over the top of them for traditions sake! Not my sexiest look ever for sure but at least I got my something blue in there! :)

  9. Posted October 31, 2012 at 1:14 pm | Permalink

    Hmmm, maybe you’re all too slim for this but I’m worried about the leg-chafe. I’m thinking seriously ginormous pants…
    But due to the whole Christian wedding night thingy I may have to change sneakily at the end of the evening…
    And corset dresses are awesome, bra-less all the way.
    Hee hee, this whole thread makes me giggle. Good job no-one is freaking at the over share :D

    • Posted October 31, 2012 at 1:20 pm | Permalink

      I’m not sure AOWers know the meaning of the term over share! :)

  10. Lara Blue
    Posted October 31, 2012 at 1:24 pm | Permalink

    This was hilarious, thanks Anna! I will know never be able to view a piece of shape wear without the genius monicker “body condom” coming to mind….
    I have stomach insecurities and so I bought this http://www.houseoffraser.co.uk/Flexees+Easy+up+waistnipper/140348326,default,pd.html to wear under my dress. I was so pleased with it as it was low enough that it wasn’t revealed by the `V at the back of my dress but it still smoothed everything out and gave me a greater sense of confidence. It didn’t make bathroom trips any more awkward (am I alone in not having considered this AT ALL before the wedding day? Suddenly realising that you need two OTHER people to help you pee is certainly a new reason for being grateful for close friendships, at least in my book). It also worked nicely with my strapless bra/pants combo- it’s pretty gratifying for your bridesmaids to say “wow” when walking in on you in your underwear, I tell you ;)
    My advice would be to go and try things on. Find something with a similar shape, fabric (or whatever) as your dress to take with you, ideally your dress if possible, and/or take note of where straps/backs/necklines fall. Also, try everything on with your dress at home or at the bridal shop or tailor’s (or wherever) in case it doesn’t work.
    Good luck!

  11. Pickle
    Posted October 31, 2012 at 1:47 pm | Permalink

    I spent hours, DAYS even obsessing about finding underwear that would work with my dress (low backed, silky and not much to it, any seams around bum/hips would show = nightmare) and running around town trying to find something that I was happy with. I tried SO hard to find something remotely sexy and failed completely. I made sure to change out of the hideous lycra monstrosity that I ended up with out of sight of my new husband – enough to put anyone off…

    My top tip to any and all brides to be would have to be try wearing whatever underwear you’re planning to wear on your wedding day for a whole day beforehand just to get used to it/work out if it’s comfortable/learn how to go to the loo in it etc. I wish I had done this.

  12. Posted October 31, 2012 at 3:51 pm | Permalink

    I actually love you all for the comments on this post.

    Haven’t been on my laptop all day so haven’t joined in but you’ve said it all! xxx

    So much AOW love right noe.

  13. Yanthé
    Posted October 31, 2012 at 4:41 pm | Permalink

    I’m not engaged, so don’t have to worry about shapewear for a wedding dress but I do have a wedding to attend as a guest soon which I’m quite concerned about so thanking you ladies for all the above advice! Not only will it assist in worrying about whether I can wear a more figure-hugging dress, I’m pretty sure I’ve burnt a fair few calories laughing out loud at your comments!
    I love AOW.

  14. Sarah
    Posted October 31, 2012 at 4:45 pm | Permalink

    If you’re wearing a tight or fitted dress, and you don’t want any sort of VPL, then Calvin Klein seamless flesh coloured knickers are awesome. They’re not very sexy, but they won’t show, unlike anything remotely pretty or lacy. You can always do a last minute swap for some seductive knickers just before you take your dress off.

  15. Kate G
    Posted November 1, 2012 at 6:25 am | Permalink

    Ah what a great set of posts, so funny! Late to the pants party but I have tried ALL types and brands of shapewear as my dress ended up with no corsetry and boy did I need it. Also, I have big thighs and needed the long leg kind to prevent possible chafing. My discovery of the best of the best ….good old M&S. I got the underbust to mid thigh suck-me-ins and they were the strongest, comfiest and gave the best all over hold compared to all the other brands i tried. (sorry but spanks just didnt do it for me the sizing was a bit off and too long, and Lordy were they hard to get into!) The only downside was the going to the loo issue – Im afraid i just snipped a hole in the crutch and hey presto! @Katielase – one way of preventing wedgies is just to wear good old tangas – if you cant beat ‘em join ‘em!

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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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