The Great Big Loveable Div

Readers, this is a Tuesday and a half.  Are you ready?  Are you ready, for MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES, PANDAS, and the return of Aisling?  Are you? 

I won’t bang on in this intro - Aisling articulates it all far better than I can.  But we’re thrilled that Aisling will be writing for us again whenever she can, and I just want to take this opportunity to say that A, we’ve missed your face.  And your writing.  And, well, you. 

Div.

Oh, readers. Lovely, lovely, lovely readers. And lovely Clare, Anna and Sarah. I love you, you do know that, don’t you? It would be terrible for all concerned if you were not aware of just how flipping wonderful and delightful and amazing you all are. I would like to state VERY clearly that you’re all tremendous, let the records reflect I am supporting that statement with a dance that incorporates Mo Farrah’s ‘M on the head’ move, Usain Bolt’s lightning pose and general Chandler-esque grooving.

When I popped in to say ‘hi’ and apologise for my absence, you responded magnificently. You blew me away with your love and support and it was a huge, huge turning point for me. I was able to make a decision that I had been putting off for many, many months.

Image from here  

And what a difference. After weeks and months of feeling desolate, lost, isolated and at the very darkest point, completely worthless, I felt better. I remembered how to be happy. How to appreciate things like friends, known and unknown.

 Image from here

It took a long time for me to feel like Aisling again. Months ago, Clare sent me the most wonderful e-mail, essentially a dance routine/majorette sequence/epic love song and therapy session transmitted over the wonder of the world wide web. In it she reminded me of the e-mails we sent to one another when we first ‘met’, she told me about the hysterical, confident, ridiculous, full-of-beans-and-ideas person that she knew she’d be friends with forever. ‘I know that person’, I thought to myself.

 Image from here

A long time to feel like myself again, yes. But undoubtedly the right amount of time for me, for Phil and I. Rushing headlong into ‘I’m fine’ would have been more damaging in the long run than the weeks of misery I put us both through. We have emerged, stronger than ever, having held our breath long enough that we know we can survive anything. Bring it on.

 Image from here

So, what now? Firstly, I solemnly swear not to use EVERY SINGLE motivational quote that Pinterest has to offer in the posts I write from now on. (Though you have to admit they’ve served a purpose today.) Secondly, you’ll be hearing from me regularly from now on…if you want to, that is. I’ll be popping up every fortnight with my ‘unique brand of Aisling drivel’ (thanks to C for that bang on description of my writing efforts) and I’m open to suggestions as to what you guys want me to waffle about. Finally, I think it’s about time for my Twitter account to see some love – I promise to get on that right after this post is published. Any suggestions as to what my first tweet should be? Winner gets a hug…

 Image from here

Thank you all, again. I couldn’t have done it without you and you all deserve a big fat bar of Butterscotch Green & Blacks.

All my love,

The Great Big Lovable Div (copyright Anna K)

Categories: Behind the Scenes at AOW, Life Experience, Written By Aisling
77 interesting thoughts on this

77 Comments

  1. Posted August 28, 2012 at 7:15 am | Permalink

    AISLING!!!!!! Yippppeeeee!!! Welcome home!
    X

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 7:59 am | Permalink

      Thank you Frankie, it’s good to be home!

      A x

  2. Katielase
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 7:16 am | Permalink

    As far as I’m concerned, you can write about anything in the world that you want, you’re just so bloody brilliant. So so delighted to see you back, it’s made my day, and it’s not even 7.30am yet. Good start.

    And I love the motivational quotes. Especially the last one,

    K xx

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:03 am | Permalink

      Motivational quotes have their place, especially if they have swearing in them! Thank you for the welcome, Katie and ohmygoodgolly your wedding was so beautiful-I loved your AOP, you were radiant. (both of you, obvs.)

      A x

      • Katielase
        Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:00 pm | Permalink

        Aww, thank you, lovely! Radiance via the medium of cheesy monkey grins, that’s us :-D

        K x

  3. Posted August 28, 2012 at 7:50 am | Permalink

    Yayyyyy!!

    (I can’t believe Anna is calling YOU a div Aisling. It’s Tuesday today)

    Px

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:06 am | Permalink

      P! Yay! (I think that might have been Anna’s one div moment of 2012, right there. They’re very rare, like Haleys Comet or something. You’ve all just witnessed something epic.)

      Congrats on the new job, P-so chuffed for you! You’ll be wearing a woodland animal fleece to the office, yes?

      A x

      • Posted August 28, 2012 at 2:56 pm | Permalink

        Bahahah. Sorry guys. I’m on it! In my defence this post was originally scheduled for a Monday…oh wotsits.

  4. Roz
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 7:52 am | Permalink

    Wooooo hoooooo :D So lovely to hear your words on these pages again, you have been missed lovely. I’m pretty sure this is about the only thing I could have read on AOW to take testing out of going back to work after the most fantabulous bank holiday weekend, so thank you Aisling.

    As for your first tweet, surely it has to be a picture of your mo-bot / bolt / chandler moves?!? Xxx

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:10 am | Permalink

      Ah, Roz…sadly the dance is much like fight club. I broke the rules by even talking about it so I probably shouldn’t take a picture. Shame…!

      From the sneaky peeks of #Blen festivities I saw, it looked like you all had an incredible time-am gutted I couldn’t make it but fingers crossed for the next opportunity!

      A x

    • Zan
      Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:52 am | Permalink

      I second this motion – the mo-bot/bolt/chandler moves must be seen!

  5. Posted August 28, 2012 at 7:57 am | Permalink

    Lovely to have you back Aisling, you were very much missed x

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:23 pm | Permalink

      Thanks Ciara, I really appreciate that.

      A x

  6. Vivienne
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 7:59 am | Permalink

    And all is right in the world again. Equilibrium has been restored.

    Welcome back

    Xxx

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:12 am | Permalink

      Thank you Vivienne, that’s so lovely of you.

      And HUGE love and hugs for that beautiful baby boy-how completely exciting! Not long to go?!

      A x

      • Vivienne
        Posted August 28, 2012 at 10:42 am | Permalink

        9 weeks-ish! Eeep! xxx

  7. Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:07 am | Permalink

    You are BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

    Snogs.

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:13 am | Permalink

      Snogs.

      Wanna kitten?

      A x

      • Roz
        Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:53 am | Permalink

        For clarity do you only give a kitten to the peeps that snog you?!

        • Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:24 pm | Permalink

          I *usually* only give kittens to people who snog me, but at the moment I have ginger and white fluffballs to find homes for, so I’m extending my kitten-giving parameters.

          A x

      • Becca
        Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:55 pm | Permalink

        I want a kitten but no snogging. For snogging I would require two kittens

        • Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:58 pm | Permalink

          I have six…be careful what you promise…

  8. Bella
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:24 am | Permalink

    Yay!!! All is right with the world!! I think you’re spot on about not rushing into ‘I’m fine’ and I’m so glad you’re in a happy place- god knows you deserve it.

    Can’t wait to see next week! Xxx

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:33 am | Permalink

      I can’t wait to see you TWICE! And one of those times being AT YOUR WEDDING!

      I need to lie down in a dark room. Too excited.

      Love you, B.

      A x

  9. Carly
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:40 am | Permalink

    Yay, she’s back!! I woke up in such a grump because I’m going camping in the rain with the kids from my youth group but this has cheered me up no end!

    I have no specific requests, just that you keep pooping up on these peachy pages.

    X

    • Carly
      Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:42 am | Permalink

      *popping not pooping haha!

      • Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:47 am | Permalink

        Pooping… Now my favourite typo ever.

        Thanks Carly, you’re very lovely. Have fun camping!

        A x

  10. Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:49 am | Permalink

    You’ve returned! :)

  11. Zan
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:54 am | Permalink

    Lovely lovely Aisling welcome back! xx

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:27 pm | Permalink

      Thank you lovely , lovely Zan – hopefully will get to see you soon at a blog gathering of some description after missing the awesomenedd of #blen!

      A x

  12. Mahj
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:02 am | Permalink

    Wearing my biggest, cheesiest grin reading this. Hooray for the return of the Aisling – will there be a parade?! After the Best weekend, I was not wanting to come back into work but this has cheered me up immensely. Yippeeee for Aisling. Welcome back daaaaaarrrllliinnng!

    xoxo

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:37 pm | Permalink

      Waiting for my song, Mahj… the parade needs a theme tune!

      Also, LOVE your new haircut. Sexiness. I can think of only one word to describe it… ‘Jeah’

      A x

  13. Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:10 am | Permalink

    Pandas! And Aisling! Today is a good day xxx

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:38 pm | Permalink

      Any day with pandas is a good day. Did you know a baby panda is smaller than a mouse? True story.

      Hope you’re well Kirsty, and Fin and Smidgen too!

      A x

      • Clare
        Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:44 pm | Permalink

        I refuse to believe this. Proof please.

        Also, you’re back. Hoo-bloody-rah!

        Carpe that fucking Diem – best motivational phrase EVER.

        Xx

        • Posted August 28, 2012 at 1:01 pm | Permalink

          Google it, doubter. SERIOUSLY, smaller than a mouse.

          Also, I’m BAAAAACKKKKKKKKKK!

          Lovesyou x

  14. Sarah
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:20 am | Permalink

    Aisling! Glad to have you back.x

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:38 pm | Permalink

      Thank you Sarah, definitely good to be back!

      A x

  15. Fee
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:24 am | Permalink

    This has put a smile on my face and made me realise there will be a day when the world looks brighter.

    Welcome back Aisling! I missed you xx

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:48 am | Permalink

      Hi Fee, so good to see you here- have been wondering how you were doing over the past few weeks – sending hugs x

      • Jessie
        Posted August 28, 2012 at 10:02 am | Permalink

        I feel the need for a AOW tea party to celebrate the return of the girls to these peachy pages. AND the sun is shining xx

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:43 pm | Permalink

      Fee, I PROMISE with every fibre of my being and bone in my body that there absolutely will be a day when everything seems a tiny bit better. And after that day, things become a little bit brighter, a little more like they used to be and life becomes easier.

      I can’t promise when that day will be but my god, I can promise that it will come.

      Sending love and hugs and jelly tots.

      A x

    • Katielase
      Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:55 pm | Permalink

      Fee, so good to see your face too. I’ve been thinking of you. Sending you all the love and strength, all of it.

      K xx

      • Fee
        Posted August 28, 2012 at 3:36 pm | Permalink

        You girls are too lovely- all of you! Xxx

  16. Katie
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:38 am | Permalink

    Woop woop!!! Missed you Aisling. Wonderful to have you back. There’s a huge cheesy grin on my face right now. Off to Italy for a weeks holiday this afternoon, but smiling because you’re back. Sod the hols, Aisling’s made my day. xx

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:47 am | Permalink

      Haha! Love this! Happy holidays Katie x

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:45 pm | Permalink

      Ah, thanks Katie! That’s so lovely – have an AMAZING holiday!

      A x

  17. Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:40 am | Permalink

    Happy Aisling day to everyone! We *have* missed you, darling. And have been thinking about you LOTS. Can’t wait for the next installment of your drivel – no-one does it quite like you.
    xxxx

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:49 am | Permalink

      Agree! x

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:47 pm | Permalink

      I’m just popping upstairs to tell Phil that today is Aisling Day. I’m sure he’ll be *delighted*….!

      Thanks Esme, I have missed you and the delightful Tom too – I hope that the beautiful house with the stunning front door and scrumptious garden are still well on their way to becoming yours, I can’t imagine a couple who deserve such excellence as much as you two.

      A x

  18. Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:44 am | Permalink

    Very pleased to have you back A! I’m already looking forward to more drivel! xxx

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:49 pm | Permalink

      There is drivel aplenty in the pipeline Amy, don’t you worry – turns out keeping quiet for 6 months is an excellent way to get the creative juices flowing!

      Also, I can’t afford to buy it but please can I come and live in your flat? Pleasethanks.

      A x

  19. Lara Blue
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:52 am | Permalink

    The love and admiration felt for you by Anna (encapsulated in that gently teasing end to her intro) and by the AOW community (see above comments and the response to your last post!) is clear. Welcome back :) On a less personal note, I think it is so important to acknowledge that you have felt like this, if only to show that ‘not being okay’ is also ‘okay’. There appears to be a stigma surrounding depression that compounds (often already present) feelings of shame/guilt and isolation during and makes discussing it afterwards difficult. Thank you.
    Ps: the motivational quotes are beautiful to the eyes AND mind, so no apologies for them necessary!

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:51 pm | Permalink

      Lara, thank you so much. It’s amazing to be back amongst this wonderful community, I’m so excited to catch up with everyone and get stuck back in!

      And I agree, although I had to take a long time off from talking about my problems, it is SO important to keep the discussion going and I’m so proud to have this amazing space to do it in.

      A x

      • Lara Blue
        Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:57 pm | Permalink

        I love that you’ve tried to respond to every comment :) Yes, we each have our own way of coping with it at the time, which sometimes means not talking, but I think it’s important to be able to acknowledge it at some point (before, after, during or whenever!). xx

  20. Posted August 28, 2012 at 10:07 am | Permalink

    Yaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!!!! Lovely to ‘see’ you back Aisling. I hope you know just how much you were missed. Oh and I was hella confused by the Monday thing!!!

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:52 pm | Permalink

      Thanks Anita – so, so pleased to be back and chatting to all you lovely folk again!

      And aren’t you glad it *isn’t* Monday?!

      A x

  21. Steff
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 10:14 am | Permalink

    *punches the air 80s style* so glad you’re back and so glad you took your time to get to a happy place!

    I barfed up my breakfast, my hayfever has gone nuts and I’m stuck in an office BUT I’ve got a massive grin on my face :)

    Happy, happy days. Welcome back luv – now go Carpe That Fucking Diem! xx

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:54 pm | Permalink

      That’s a sucky morning right there Steff, you poor thing! Glad my mutterings and cheesy quotes gave you something to smile about though!

      Am Carpe-ing that Fucking Diem right now with a bacon and fried egg baguette and ginger beer in the sunshine with the boy and the kittens. Life = a bit of alright…!

      A x

  22. Alex
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 11:38 am | Permalink

    Welcome back, can’t wait to read your drivel…which of course it won’t be, it will be superb!!

    And Butterscotch Green and Blacks is like the most delicious thing I have tasted this year…only recently had some and my god I want it to be all I eat for the rest of my days!!!

    Love the Carpe Diem quote so bad I want it on my wall…hell, on my face in fact!!!

    xx

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:56 pm | Permalink

      Alex, I’d be happy to write on your face. I have a childish streak that needs some exercising. Phil probably won’t be impressed if I go writing on the walls, but other people’s faces should be fine.

      A x

  23. Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:28 pm | Permalink

    Thanks Becci – I have to agree, there’s definitely worse ways to spend an evening than trawling Pinterest for motivational artwork!

    A x

  24. Frances
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:48 pm | Permalink

    Hurrah! This makes me very happy! As does the panda picture :-D

    Welcome back Aisling! I think there should be cake in your honour… a peach one with pretty icing on it of course… x

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:57 pm | Permalink

      Thank you Frances! Aren’t the pandas the best?!

      I’m going to make a cake tonight in honour of the whole of AOW – what a wicked place.

      A x

  25. Posted August 28, 2012 at 12:56 pm | Permalink

    Welcome back Aisling!

    I want a big fat rubber stamp with ‘carpe that fucking diem’ on, and next time someone tells me I can’t, or shouldn’t do something, I’m going to stamp it on their forehead. And on the back of my hand for those days when I need a boot up the arse. It’ll be like a private nightclub, only members allowed must carpe EVERY diem. Yes.

    Ok, I’ve probably outdone that a little, safe to say – VERY happy to hear you are feeling better. :D

    L x

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 1:00 pm | Permalink

      *Muses*…. you can have your own rubber stamps made, can’t you? We could be like motivational ninja gangsters, going around dressed in sunshine yellow stamping mopey people’s foreheads….

      PLAN.

      A x

  26. Becca
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 1:00 pm | Permalink

    Welcome backs our very own leggy delicious. Like an apple but with longer stalks. And un-green-ness. Looking forward to the drivel. We shall respond with drivel of our own.

    Firstly….could we have some pictures of the kittens pleeeeeeeease?

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 1:05 pm | Permalink

      Leggy Delicious…. I like it. On top of demading that Phil treat today as Aisling Day, I shall also mandate that I be called Leggy Delicious from now on. Not TOO ‘mememe’, is it?!

      I shall tweet pics of the kittens this very afternoon, if I can get pictures that are not just blurred streaks of ginger flying past the camera lens on the way to climb a table leg/another kitten/a plant/a bookshelf.

      A x

  27. Katy W
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 1:13 pm | Permalink

    Hurray!!! That is all.

    K x

  28. Posted August 28, 2012 at 1:17 pm | Permalink

    Aw, man, I want a kitten! I might be allowed one if you can promise they’ll stay small enough to live in the box on top of my gin fridge. Mr M would never need to know.

    Glad to have you back, lovely! x

    • Posted August 28, 2012 at 1:21 pm | Permalink

      If they stayed this small for ever, I’d keep all six! Stupid growing nonsense.

      Thanks S, so glad to be back!

      A x

  29. Posted August 28, 2012 at 1:24 pm | Permalink

    I’m back on the internet to say HAPPY AISLING DAY!!!!!!!

    Going back into hibernation now. Glad you have found some happy space again.

    xx

  30. Posted August 28, 2012 at 6:09 pm | Permalink

    AISLING! I hadn’t intended to shout that but it can remain shouty!

    I’ve been thoroughly enjoying seeing your gorgeous face (and cute kittens) all over twitter again today (in the shittiest day ever at work) cheering me up! As for missing the Blen – COME TO SCOTLAND!!! I can promise cake and roller discoing and all sorts of fun! :)

    So glad you are back seizing days and pinterest quotes!!
    Bex
    xx

  31. Lexie
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:10 pm | Permalink

    Hooray!!! What a winner of a day, so excited at the prospect of more posts not only from the awesome posts by Clare, Anna and Sarah, but Aisling again too, best news- you’re the one who got me hooked in the first place young lady, or should I say Leggy Delicious?! So glad you found your way to a happier place.

  32. Peridot
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 10:54 am | Permalink

    I’m so pleased your’re feeling more like you. I liked all the motivational pinterest stuff!

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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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image by Lucy Stendall Photography

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