The Friends That Made Me Me – Carly

This is bordering on one of my favourite Friends That Made Me Me of all time.  Fantastic, evocative writing aside, it’s a true celebration of the sheer diversity of female friendships and what we give each other.  How different friends can fulfil such different roles.  It’s a magical thing, isn’t it?  This is perfect Tuesday morning material.  Call your friends, readers.  Call them, and tell them you love them.  

Over to you, Carly:   

I’ve had some crappy friends. Really crappy ones. The kind that you always try to please but no matter what you do it’s never quite enough. The kind that let you down every single time. The kind that talk about you behind your back and make you feel even worse about your hair/clothes/acne/whatever. I realised one day (only about two years ago) that life is way too short to waste time on people that make you feel bad about yourself. Yes, I know it’s hardly revolutionary, but it revolutionised things for me and I decided to focus on the friends that love me just as much as I love them. It’s taken me a long time to get where I am today with friends that I trust implicitly. The  Friends that Made Me Me are the five girls that I have chosen to have as my bridesmaids (I know, quite excessive, but there was no way I was choosing between these ladies.) Writing this has made me think of all the reasons why I love them, but to write about all of those reasons would be a little long winded, so you’ve got the condensed version!

The Other Half of Me


My twin and I, aged 3.


Nat and I enjoying  said cocktails on holiday last year.

Well, she is technically here by default as she is my identical twin. That doesn’t mean that she isn’t my best friend in the whole world though (I think that is another post all of its own.) She is the other half of me; there is no better way to express it. She cries, I cry. She laughs, I laugh. She hurts and I will kill the person that hurt her. She makes me laugh like nobody else can – our respective partners often sit staring at us as we’re creased over laughing with tears running down our faces over the silliest of ‘in-jokes.’ She’s a great one to have around as she will absolutely 100% tell me the honest truth and if I don’t like it? Erm, tough – she’ll say it anyway.

When we were at school being a twin was the thing that made us different, therefore we went to great lengths to be seen as separate. We would quite often want to go and see the same film and Mum would tell us to go together only to be met with a horrified ‘no way!’ Now? She is my first port of call for cinema, cocktails and just about anything else you can think of. She is on speed-dial for when I’m sad, when I’m happy and when I feel like just talking nonsense. We have our own special brand of nonsense, it has taken 27 years to develop and perfect.

The One That Makes Me Feel Amazing

Me and Camilla wowing the crowds with our amazing Karaoke dressed as bad-taste bridesmaids.

I have known her since Nursery school and we’ve always been friends, but not amazingly close until about four years ago when we both moved home after University and worked in the same place. I love this girl. We are totally different, she channels the K-Middy while I’m a little more Ann Widdy but we have the same core beliefs and we can talk for hours. Actually, she can talk for hours to anyone – on a recent trip to London she struck up a conversation with a tramp, who made her cry with his sad story, she had to be dragged away by her boyfriend, but not without giving him £10 first. This is the one who sobbed all day when I told her we had got engaged and she has been so excited about our wedding that I love her even more.

I don’t really like shopping whilst she lives for it and if I ever need anything I always take her with me. I just stand there looking gormless whilst she flies around in an excited frenzy and always brings back armfuls of stuff that I would never have chosen but actually looks really nice – my own little Gok. She never fails to give me a boost or draw attention to my ‘bits that are a bit better than the bad bits’ and for that I am truly grateful.

The One That I Miss Every Day

Bridesmaid at Karenna’s beautiful wedding

Eagle-eyed AOW readers will already know the love that I have for this girl. She was my saving grace at University and I often asked myself just why she was my friend. She is so intelligent and wise way beyond her years and she gives the best advice and will listen for hours. At University she would have amazing pieces of work ready way in advance, whereas I would be frantically cobbling stuff together at the last minute. When she got married I bawled nearly all weekend and when I had to say goodbye to her at the ferry, knowing that I wouldn’t see her again for at least 18 months it broke my heart. Now she lives in Australia I miss her so much, every day. Thank god for Skype, although I cry every time she disappears at the end of a call.

She’s coming all the way from Australia, just to be bridesmaid at our wedding. What an amazing friend is that?

The One that Makes Me Feel 14 again

Oh dear, what can I say about this one? Our Dads were friends at school – that’s how long we have been friends.  The basis of our friendship is definitely laughter. When she, my Sister and I are together we have a horrible tendency to ignore everyone else in the room, laugh hysterically and get up to ridiculous things. The thing is, when we meet up we instantly fall back into our teenage selves who used to stay at each others houses for a whole week. We think this is funny, other people think it’s weird. If you ever meet her just ask her one question ‘Who’s wearing the sweatshirt?’ (Must be said in a pseudo Irish accent.)

She is the most glamorous, polished person I have ever met. Her make up bag and jewellery collection has to be seen to be believed. So does her wardrobe, but as I can’t squeeze into her size 8’s I have to make do with stealing her make up instead!

We made up a dance to Atomic Kitten’s ‘Right Now’ when we were 14. I think this may have to be pulled out at the wedding.

The One that Keeps My Feet on the Ground

 Becki earns the title of Mrs Sensible of the group, but this does not mean that I love her any less. She’s in the Police, she has to be sensible. She is also teeny – weeny and regularly does battle with the underclass of our town – and they’re scared of her. We met whilst working on the checkouts at Tesco and we quickly became partners in crime and the Summer of 2003 was one of the best of my life. She was recently single and I was desperate to get her back ‘out there’ and I definitely succeeded and then I ruined it all by being sick on her feet on our last night out before starting Uni. Oops.

Despite that though, we have remained close! She is now 6 months pregnant and I cannot wait to see her as a Mummy. She says that I’m allowed to look after the baby, I’m not sure this is a good idea. We’ll see.

I know that I am a lucky girl.


Categories: Friend That Made Me Me
21 interesting thoughts on this


  1. Posted May 29, 2012 at 7:20 am | Permalink

    Carly – This is glorious.
    Ps Hello from a fellow twin. When I made a short speech at my hen do about my friends I started off with my first friend, the person who taught me, & I practiced being a friend with, my fellow twin.

    • Posted May 29, 2012 at 7:45 am | Permalink

      Such lovely words about your twin, Rachel. I’m almost in tears before breakfast!

    • Carly
      Posted May 29, 2012 at 10:44 am | Permalink

      Do you know, I had never thought of it like this before, but it is spot on and made me shed a little tear. Thank you X

  2. Posted May 29, 2012 at 7:41 am | Permalink

    Awwwww! Sooooo lovely. I always wanted to have a twin- this has brought it all back! I enjoyed reading this loads- very entertaining writing.


  3. Sandra C
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 8:27 am | Permalink

    What an amazing group of friends you have!! Im all emotional now, what a lovely piece. Thank you! You’re very lucky, but you know that.

  4. Posted May 29, 2012 at 9:11 am | Permalink

    I always wanted to be a twin too! Ou next door neighbours were twins and I thought it was the coolest thing ever… this is a really lovely post. Love that they’re all your bridesmaids too xx

    • Carly
      Posted May 29, 2012 at 10:47 am | Permalink

      Believe it or not, our next door neighbours were also identical twin girls! Freaky Street! X

  5. Esme
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 9:13 am | Permalink

    This is so heartwarming. You’re lucky to have such a great group of girls. I bet you are going to have a whale of a time on the morning of your wedding!!

    • Carly
      Posted May 29, 2012 at 10:45 am | Permalink

      I know, I can’t wait! X

  6. Posted May 29, 2012 at 9:24 am | Permalink

    This is so lovely, I always love the FTMMM posts but I think I like this one the best, because it celebrates how different friendships can be, but how they all shape us. Really lovely writing.

    K x

  7. Steff
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 9:28 am | Permalink

    They all sound awesome Carly and you write so beautifully about them it’s clear how much they all mean to you.

    Big time twin jealousy going on over here though. x

  8. Kate S
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 10:28 am | Permalink

    What a lovely group of friends. I’m sure, though, that they’re as lucky to have you as you are to have them.

  9. Carly
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 10:43 am | Permalink

    Thanks for your lovely comments everyone – has made my day. Yes, being a twin is pretty amazing, everyone should have one!


  10. Different Anon
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 12:40 pm | Permalink

    This is so heart warming. Your friends all sound lovely.

    My husband’s sisters are identical twins, and they are each others best friends, and so alike, so much so, they attended the same university, completed the same course, and have the same jobs in the NHS. Different hospitals, but same promotions, and pay scale. Their husbands are quite similar too.

    Completely irrelevant, but I recently met a man, who I knew as a boy, and he has an identical twin. Him and his twin have fallen out, and not spoken for about a year. When I asked about his twin, he said mean things about him. I still cannot get my head around this, and it has been playing on my mind for weeks (honestly, I’ve been lying awake at night, questioning, how it is possible, that identical twins don’t like each other). Any tips, for stopping myself from analysing their fallout, would be much appreciated. I’m fed up of thinking about them, and I’m not usually quite so batty.


    • Carly
      Posted May 29, 2012 at 12:48 pm | Permalink

      I really struggle to understand that too, but I’ve only got our relationship to compare it too. I suppose if I try and look objectively at it, it’s just the same as when you don’t like somebody who isn’t your twin. Natalie and I are best friends, but we have totally different personalities and disagree regularly with the petulance of a couple of teenagers BUT we always make up within minutes, nothing is ever carried on. So I suppose that is where the difference might occur in that we are able to do that. If Nat and I were unable to disagree passionately and not forget about it and be laughing the next second we would have a very different relationship! Does that help at all?


      • Oops
        Posted May 29, 2012 at 1:10 pm | Permalink

        Thank you Carly. They were very alike as children, but have probably become less alike. I’d not seen this person, since I was about 14, so it came as a shock, that he disliked his twin.

        From memory, they are both a tad arrogant, ridiculously handome, incredibly tough, and one of them, has been significantly more successful financially than the other (a lucky career break), which I suspect has not helped their relationship.


  11. Oops
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 12:42 pm | Permalink

    That last comment, wasn’t meant to be from different anon, but I forgot to change my name at the top. I previously posted anonymously on yesterday’s benefits post. Nevermind. xx

  12. Posted May 29, 2012 at 1:15 pm | Permalink

    More twin envy over here – great FTMMM


  13. Posted May 29, 2012 at 2:33 pm | Permalink

    What a lovely post. I especially enjoyed the karaoke photo though :)

    • Carly
      Posted May 29, 2012 at 6:07 pm | Permalink

      Ha, thanks! I love how much I’m giving it – like I’m on stage at the O2! X

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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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