I had the best wedding. No, *I* had the best wedding.

This post by the lovely, talented Sarah M puts a grin on my face every time I read it (four times and counting).  Because it reminds me that yes, my wedding WAS the best wedding ever.  And quite…why shouldn’t I think that?  Why shouldn’t every bride? Thank you Sarah, for reminding us that it’s ok to be our own cheerleaders, to revel completely in that day that we managed to pull off, surrounded by those that love us most. (My wedding was better, though.)  Over to you: 

Thirteen months ago I was still a bride-to-be (it’s only typing that I realise how much I hate the term ‘bride-to-be’, anyway, I digress). I was juggling a stressful job, planning a wedding for the following month and undergoing serious medical treatment. We had been adamant throughout our planning that our wedding day was the start of the rest of our lives, and that it was a bonus to be able to throw a party for our nearest and dearest to celebrate. The thought of being ‘the bride’ hadn’t really entered my head – after all, this was about our marriage, not a wedding. 

The closer it came the more I started to notice the nerves creep in. Perhaps I’m being a little disingenuous and it was plain vanity, I suspect a combination of both. Could we really throw a party that would be as good as we hoped in our minds? Would we manage to get the balance right between having a relaxed day and keeping our guests hanging about, waiting for us? Could I really say my vows without ending up a teary, snotty, blotchy mess?  

Having surgery shortly before really brought my jumbled thoughts in to focus and I gave myself a virtual slap for losing sight of the end goal – a marriage to be cherished, improved and enjoyed. 

Still, I’d wish I’d known then what I know now. Something you can only really learn from going through the process of having your own wedding. Humour me, but what I want to share with you now is a lighthearted view of why your own wedding is the best wedding you’ll ever attend. I’m not suggesting you need to get competitive, ‘Bridezilla Wars’ this is not. 

Sometimes I think we’re too afraid of saying when we’ve done something well. Afraid that we’ll be labelled a boast.  I’m convinced that we’re often our own worst enemies in this regard so I’m going to go out on a limb here.  Sure, I’m biased but I think my wedding was epic. In fact, it’s the best wedding I’ve ever attended. There, I said it.  Objectively, I think it looks like a fun wedding and some of you were kind enough to say this when I shared it here, here and here. Our smiles certainly tell that story, and goodness, it was full of love. So full of love. But that’s not why it was the best wedding I’ll ever attend and before you start to think I’m a big-headed boastful brag monster (which isn’t a very nice thing, oh no) I want to clarify that it was the best one for me for the same reasons I think your wedding will be the best one for you. 

1 – It has the perfect guest list. 

You’re surrounded by family – the ones who held you as a baby and promised you the world was yours for the taking; who read your scribbled infantile stories of dragons, princesses and trips to the beach, the ones you call on when the world seems to be falling apart. Your close friends are there – you know the ones who’ve held back your hair after one too many Bacardi Breezers as a teen (just me? Watermelon, bleurgh), who’ve shared crushes galore as well as wildly unsuitable boyfriends along the way. Perhaps even your current work mates who may only be a snapshot of that time of your life. They are people you know and love. Whoever they are, they’re all there, and they’re there for you. 

2 – It makes you feel loved.  

Getting married doesn’t have to be about being a performing seal (unless you want to be!) and worrying about tripping over your vows. For parts of it, you’ll feel like there’s only two of you left in the world and then, BOOM, you’re encompassed in so much love and joy from those there to share in the occasion. Everywhere you look you’ll be greeted with beaming smiles, cuddles and so many words of happiness – all for the pair of you. Even the most reserved of guests drop their bluster and can’t help but have a twinkle in their eyes. You won’t be able to control your own smile – my face hurt for days afterwards!

3 – It’s great for your ego. 

Like most women, I have my fair share of insecurities. The whole wedding process made me realise just how wonderful my friends and family were. Regardless of how many you have, knowing that there are people in your life who will pull out all of the stops for you when it really matters is incredible. They’re doing it because they love you, because they value you and, d’you know what? That means you’re kind of ace. Even if you don’t feel it all of the time, the fact they care enough to do these things for you shows you you’re worth it. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Mr Self-Doubt. Even this many months later, if I’m having a wobble, I think back to that time and will be forever grateful. 

4 – It makes you a better wedding guest. 

Let’s face it, if you’ve had your own wedding or in the process of planning one, you’ll have probably found that the most difficult part is other people! You’re now guaranteed to RSVP early, to offer encouragement and support more readily, to eat all of your dinner and proclaim, loudly, just how tasty it is and to be the first up on the dance floor (as well as being there at the bitter end jumping up and down to The Proclaimers!). You’ll also never listen to someone else’s vows in the same way because now you know. You know what those promises feel like to say and what it feels like to hear them in return. What’s more, when your husband squeezes your hand during someone else’s vows, you’ll know he knows it too. 

Who out there can join me in laying claim to having had the best wedding?

Categories: Life Experience, Wedding Planning
28 interesting thoughts on this

27 Comments

  1. Posted May 23, 2012 at 7:27 am | Permalink

    That last one especially is so true – and not only will you be a better guest, you’ll make a better bridesmaid/maid of honour too.

    I’ve not really had that problem with the wedding itself as ours was so different to any other I’ve been to. I’m far more guilty of genuinely believing our honeymoon(s) were better than everyone else’s – nobody was as blissed out and having as much fun as us. Nobody on the planet. Nope, not even you, or you, or you. I win. I WIN.

    Px

  2. Posted May 23, 2012 at 7:30 am | Permalink

    I have strong evangelical urges to yell YES SISTER! to all of this. But I’m a shy and reserved type so I’ll hold back and just say this makes so much sense and nod in agreement.

    Also ‘put that in your pipe and smoke it’ is one of my all time favourite sayings.

  3. Posted May 23, 2012 at 7:32 am | Permalink

    Ps. The other reason that your wedding is the best you’ll ever go to is that you chose it all. Like the playlist. We sat and chose each song for the whole day, so when we listened to it we had ‘I love this song!!’ moments aaaaaall day. Brilliant.

  4. Posted May 23, 2012 at 8:02 am | Permalink

    Our wedding wasn’t the best wedding, it really wasn’t but I 100% agree with the third point – it makes you better at listening to nervous/excited/pain in the arse ‘brides to be’ too. I always RSVP within about an hour of getting an invite too.

    • Posted May 23, 2012 at 8:47 am | Permalink

      Oh my goodness it sounds like I’m calling all brides a pain in the arse- I’m really not but there’s always one right? Eek. When comments go wrong. Hahahaha

  5. Posted May 23, 2012 at 8:03 am | Permalink

    I meant fourth point!

  6. Mahj
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 8:37 am | Permalink

    Sarah M, I agree with you. My wedding rocked! There, I said it too! And also, so so with you on the watermelon barcardi breezer, as one of my oldest friends likes to remind me regularly, the time she had to hold my hair back after too many!

    xoxo

  7. Posted May 23, 2012 at 9:09 am | Permalink

    Yes to all of this! Particularly the bit about it making you a better guest… Am I the only one who could very clearly see differences in attitudes between married and non-married guests? Like from non-marrieds: can I bring a plus one you’ve never met and I’ve only met a few nights ago in a bar?… that would be a big fat NO (accompanied by swear words that I won’t repeat here)!

    Loving the warm, fuzzy feeling this has given me for a Wednesday morning of rain!

    xx

    p.s. Our wedding was a-bloody-mazing!

  8. Steff
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 9:16 am | Permalink

    It’s funny reading this because honestly I feel, word for word, exactly the same. Right down to the watermelon Bacardi Breezers (Did we not have tastebuds in the 90s??) and The Proclaimers (though I’d have been that one person left on the dance floor at that point anyway!).

    Our wedding was so much more than we ever expected it to be and you’re so right, it does make you a better guest!

  9. Posted May 23, 2012 at 9:17 am | Permalink

    I am jumping up and down in my seat after reading this. That is all.

    K x

    • Posted May 23, 2012 at 10:00 am | Permalink

      I bet you bloody are!! How long to go now?? x

      • Posted May 23, 2012 at 11:30 am | Permalink

        TEN DAYS!!! I’m really quite over-excited today!

        K x

        • Carly
          Posted May 23, 2012 at 11:33 am | Permalink

          Wowzers – ten days!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Posted May 23, 2012 at 10:49 am | Permalink

    Ahh this is a lovely post. I want that feeling, all of it. Please nerves, bugger orf on the day and let me enjoy it for what it is – friggin’ amazing! x

  11. Sandra C
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 11:05 am | Permalink

    Lovely piece!! I had some similar feelings about my husband and I. It was the most magical time, during the service. Sadly, we couldn’t count on family support, so had just the two of us, but the party we threw a month later was amazing!! I have minor regrets about some things now, but we had the day we wanted. And there’s no-one better for me. That’s what matters. Truly the best day of my life. Thanks for sharing, Sarah!! Xx

  12. Sandra C
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 11:06 am | Permalink

    And FWIW, your wedding looked amazing. You can feel the love. Xx

  13. Kate S
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 11:14 am | Permalink

    I completely agree with all of this! All of the points you mentioned are bang on – and I definitely wouldn’t have appreciated them properly before my wedding.

    It took both of us by surprise on the day just how overwhelmed we were with the love that was emanating from our guests – directly at us. And through my hen dos I realised that I’ve got a pretty damn amazing group of friends. And that they actually think I’m quite amazing too. That was the bit that really took me by surprise.

    I say that the guest list for our wedding is one that will probably never happen again and I cherish the day deeply. When else can you look around a room and realise that you know and love every person there?

  14. Abi Lady HarHar
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 11:19 am | Permalink

    Ah I love this! I’m getting married in (pretends to check diary but knows really)… 16 DAYS! and despite being a little stressed with work (not so much the wedding… I have the King of Grooms who is a spreadsheet geek and we are on track thanks to his awesome project management ways) this has just made me a bit emotionally excited (does that make sense?) You know, butterflies, little shiver but ultimately so very excited to get married to my spreadsheet geek in front of all of our amazing friends and family! yay for weddings!

    The hen do already made me feel incredibly lucky to have such amazing, hilarious, kind and brilliant mix of friends… it is a very lovely time really! :) (PLUS THE SUN… OH THE SUN PLEASE PLEASE STAY FOR A LITTLE WHILE LONGER)

    • Posted May 23, 2012 at 11:29 am | Permalink

      Abi, exactly the same here! Butterflies, but good butterflies, are taking off in my tummy right now!

      And yes… please hang on in there sun!

      K x

      • Abi Lady HarHar
        Posted May 23, 2012 at 12:21 pm | Permalink

        Hi Katie – what date are you getting married? Eeek I’m so very excited… blimmin work is an unwanted distraction from getting all over excited! :)

        • Abi Lady HarHar
          Posted May 23, 2012 at 12:22 pm | Permalink

          Ah you answer my question up there! Have an amazing time!

  15. Posted May 23, 2012 at 1:25 pm | Permalink

    Yes, Point 4, yes yes yes. I’m a great friend to have around if you’re getting married. Thoughtful, helpful, enthusiastic. People often don’t understand that supportive/interested friends mean so much to the bride and groom unless they’ve been through it themselves.

  16. Mrs Jones
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 4:21 pm | Permalink

    LOVE this! And it is oh so true. I too had THE best wedding EVER! I also wish I’d been married before I was a bridesmaid as I would have been so much better now I know what is actually involved in ‘being a bride’.

    I wasn’t a watermelon but a pineapple BB fan.. My frends used to call it our naughty juice as it make us far too flirty and cheeky.. I’m sure they must put something in it (apart from the obvious..!)

  17. Posted May 24, 2012 at 8:54 am | Permalink

    I’m so glad it’s not just me who felt like this!

    Those getting married soon, I hope you have the BEST time :)

    SJM x

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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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