AOW started as a wedding blog, and it was really important to all three of us that, when we relaunched as Any Other Woman, we still kept posting about weddings, and creating a sane space for people planning their weddings to come to. So when Laura mentioned in the comments to her post on facing the fear of walking down the aisle that there really should be a FAQ or an A-Z on getting married, and so many of you got behind it, we realised this was perfect AOW material. A series of wise, wonderful women who’ve been there and done that, giving sensible advice on planning your wedding? What could be more AOW?
Wooden A-Z bookends from here
We decided to create the AOW A-Z of Getting Married.
We want to cover all of those topics that you worry about when getting married, marrying and of course after the marriage. There are the obvious; B = Bridesmaids, and D = Dress. Then there are others like budgets, and guest lists and dealing with family. Or changing your name, choosing suppliers, or eloping. The options are many and varied and I’m sure that there are many that we’ve not even thought of yet (that’s where you come in).
Readers, this is your time to get involved with AOW. We know that there are so many of you out there that read but don’t comment or submit posts. If you’ve always wanted to write a post, but not had the confidence, or even, not known what to write about, this is your chance. You might be a lurker, you might be a commenter, you might have written a post or two before. Whoever you are, this is a call to action.
This series isn’t about clever or poetic writing, it’s about imparting knowledge, so there are no excuses for not getting involved. If you’re married, engaged, or have just been a guest at a wedding once, you have valuable experience to share. No excuses about your writing not being strong enough – this is the perfect time for you to give it a try – everyone can write about something they’ve experienced.
So this is how we plan to do this. You wonderful people are all going to comment below to let us know that you want to get involved, and if you have something specific you want to write about, that’s the place to let us know.
If you don’t have a specific topic you want to cover, but want to get involved anyway, let us know in the comments and we’ll assign you a letter and email you, and you can then choose a topic of your choice that works with that letter. If you’re still stuck at that point, we’ll happily come up with a topic for you
The posts will run consecutively on Thursdays at 1pm and we’ll collate them all in one handy section of the site, so brides-to-be can use it as a reference tool, compiled by you wise wise readers.
Here’s the important bit – you don’t have to be married to partake in this. Whatever you have to say about divorced parents, or the guest list, or religious differences is equally as important as anyone who’s been through the wedding mill. So get involved. Comment. Let’s make this wise, funny, hive-mind-of-AOW-readers happen.
Who’s with us?
163 Comments
Me! Me! *shoots hand in air* You can assign me a letter if you like xxx
Count me in. I’d been thinking about writing you a post about three years on what from all the wedding things purchased I continue to use. Very happy to be assigned a letter & topic though. Looking forward to reading everyone’s posts.
That sounds great- I’m intrigued and would love to know!
Fab idea!! Would love to both be involved and read all the other letters!!! S is for stepfamilies?! (or sugar flowers but I know more about the first one…) or M for marquees….. Xxx
I could definitely do M for marquees! By the way – hello AOW, this is my first post although I’ve been lurking for a while
)
Hello Jen! yes of course you can do M for Marquees – I’ll send you an email with details to confirm x
This is an amazing idea. I’d love to participate, although was a bit of an anti-bride, so mightn’t have that much useful to say.
I think this will be a really useful series!
A = Anti Bride !
I was too- I’d love to hear about how you were.
I would totally love to do A for Anti-Bride. I think more resources are needed for women who never wore a lace tablecloth on their head as a girl!
Indeed! Do it do it!
Fiona…you may well be kicking off the series! Will email you x
I’d love to help & don’t mind being assigned a letter/ topic. We got married 3 years ago & it would be lovely to dig out all of my planning stuff & photos… Can’t wait to read all the other posts xxx
Can I do V for venue please?
D’oh – just realised also V for Veils (I’m a dummy).
We can have as many V’s as we want!
Id love to- could i please have E? If possible. Thanks!! You’ve forced me to try writing now. This is a good thing.
Can I have F for Family Feuds? I could write a dissertation on this subject!
C for me. And F for Florist
Ohh! Me, me, me!! I can’t pick a topic right now, my head is too full of wedding for sensible thinking, so feel free to assign!
K x
Are you managing to peel yourself off the ceiling??
I’m a bridesmaid on Sat and I’m ridiculously excited so I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling!!
I could take W for Worrying. Or, right now, O for Oh My Holy God This Is Actually Happening.
I’m so excited, I woke up G this morning because I was bouncing in bed.
K x
Haha excellent!!
No need for worrying, everything will be perfect on the day and anything that isn’t just gives you a good story to tell afterwards
Please please please write O for Oh My Holy etc etc, I think that would be brilliant!
H for Holy matrimony? That could be about why getting married in a religious ceremony was right for you…you could have two sides of the story, one for, one against
I’m in!
Me too please! No specific topic or letter to request, happy to impart any wedding knowledge
I’ll do a letter- no preferences! Yay for useful wedding info!
Me please…. D for delegating?
Px
S for Sanity?
K x
Aw…. I can only give it because I had NONE of my own…
Px
Oh ladies this is why we all love you so much!! This is going to be truly epic. How many people are now wishing they weren’t married so they could have had this guide to help them plan?!
I was going to ask for R for Remembering (as in loved ones who have passed away), but then realised that Reception would be a slightly more obvious (and useful?) choice.
So basically I would love to do something about having a nod to the past as those that can’t be with you, but can anyone think of a better letter than R for that?! Don’t want to hog one of the ‘best’ letters if it won’t be useful to everyone!
xx
xx
What a great idea! Would love to join in. Any letter is fine but I do have something in mind for X…:)
That’s pretty much the first thing that went through my head this morning… what will we get for X
Yes please – any letter!
oooh in fact I could do F for flowers, as in doing your own despite being not at all talented and having the MOST fun doing it. Or H for home, or O for old. Or anything going! I tihnk we may need multiple alphabets.
Sorry, another thought! I know lots of others have had home based receptions, so I could do an alternative dress view – had mine made by a local lady causing much horror from a very designer dress girl I worked with (who clearly didn’t think much of my work style) that I was “designing my own dress”, and veil was great granny’s.
ooh yes please! Happy to be assigned a letter – or I have a vague idea about the day after the wedding (not sure what letter that would be – D for Day After? W for What Happens Next? O for Oh My God There Is So Much To Clear Up?)
K x
Haaa! Please do that for O!
Gladly! (although I really don’t know why I was so surprised at the amount to do…!)
Oh my. I’d love to hear about it- did you have much help?
We didn’t have any to do (see below H – hotel wedding reception!)
Now that sounds like the sensible option!
Ahhhh. This will be all kinds of amazing.
Perhaps I could have Y to write about keeping it Your Day. (and managing others’ expectations)
Or H for hotel wedding receptions. I’m pro them – they can be fab and can save you money especially if you’re having a biggish wedding.
Or S for short engagements although I’ve kind of talked about this before.
Or W for What Matters….this could be a good one.
Oh I’d love to participate in this. What a fab idea ladies. You may designate me any letter you like!
xoxo
I would love to have a bash at writing a post! Count me in, I’ll take any letter! x
Yes please- any letter!
Will Tom be doing Cake?
If he isn’t, I will riot.
K x
Seconded – especially if there are recipes and photos!
Is that not a given?!?
I’ll talk to him ladies, don’t worry
)
But Tom’s done his brilliant post on cake already – I for one want to hear his wise words about something else weddingy!
Ooh me, me, me!! Happy to be asigned a letter too
xx
YESSSS!!!!!
So excited right now!
Can I have N – Nerves, maybe D – DIY and absolutely any others you want? Perhaps D – Date as we’ve just moved ours by 5 months?
I”ll write anything – just gimme a letter!
But seriously guys, you are AWESOME! I love how you listen to your readers
xxxx
You do all realise how excited Anna is going to be getting right now as she realises the spreadsheets that are going to be involved in managing this?!
LOVE a good spreadsheet… so much so that we actually have an “I <3 spreadsheets" mug in the house.
1. I want that mug. 2. I also want one that says ” I love lists” 3. Our wedding spreadsheet has 15 sheets on it so far. All colour coded.
Ah, a girl after my own heart!
I realise I wrote that comment as a list. Think I need that mug soonish…
Haha! I currently have a Hen Weekend Spreadsheet based on K’s advice…
I have three different wedding spreadsheets open as we speak.
K x
S for Spreadsheets?? I could actually whip together a pretty neat one with macro’s and everything as a template?
Being a software developer has to come in handy at some point…
Bahahaha I am on a spreadsheet RIGHT NOW just about managing not to wee myself with joy.
LIKE
Me please!!
W if possible but equally happy to have any letter
or S for Seasons… is there only 1 post per letter?
No Steff there’s definitely NOT one topic or post per letter…
and if many of you want to write about the same topic that’s ok too…we’ll make it work.
Defo!! Any old letter will do… x
I’ve just read back all my comments… I think I’ve already had too much coffee this morning.
H for Hyper anyone??
Hahaha Steff!
I’ll take a letter if there’s any left!
Can I have P for Planning? Or anything else. I’m SO in! Genuinely excited xxxx
LOL, this sounds brilliant and I’m loving the enthusiasm already! I’d love to be involved too, was also thinking X for X-rated! Would love to write about my boudoir shoots (loved it so much I did 2!) maybe that could fit for another letter? G for gift for the groom? Or I could do G for Gift List and write about our honeymoon gift list and how we worded it so an to try not to cause offence (basically asking for cash as the honeymoon gift list companies take a cut!)
Also a bit hyper now!!
Or we could collectively have L – (wedding) list options – cos I struggled with this and we went for charity donation list – to the annoyance of some of the guests who wanted to buy us a ‘proper present’!
We half and half-ed it, after we set up the charity list, loads of people donated and then told us they were buying us a present as well, regardless of whether we gave them a list. So we made a list in the end.
K x
We’re planning on not having a list at all, is that really controversial?
We didn’t have a list – just asked politely for vouchers if they wished to give us a gift
Same here!
I did read an amazing thing where a couple just asked for ‘tickets’ as presents and got so many different experiences from it – tickets to shows, gigs, weekends away (when people clubbed together), tickets to visit friends and family, tickets to exhibitions etc etc. If we didn’t live in NI I would totally have gone for that idea…
That IS a wonderful idea! Aw.
That’s an awesome idea!
AMAZING idea. Love the tickets
tickets is an amazing present!
we asked for no presents as we were moving to the other side of the world shortly after the wedding. we still got loads of “small” presents, which were then re-gifted to Oxfam…
That’s the best idea I ever heard of!
Amy, I think that’s fine! I salute you both!
We didn’t have a list either Amy, G helps run a charity so we asked for donations to that instead. Got about £500 too!
We weren’t planning on having one Amy, but people seemed to get really upset when we said so, so we came up with ‘books’. We said if people wanted to get us a present then we would love a book – it could be one they think we would love, one that they loved, a practical one, a classic one – whatever they chose. We got so so many lovely books, most with inscriptions inside too which makes them even more special.
Might be worth thinking about…
Oh Clare that is lovely. I love getting books with inscriptions inside!
What a perfect idea.
I love that idea!
R for registries!
D for Dress please, am a dress designer PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEEEE
Do you have a website Dianna? (always an excuse to ogle a pretty frock!)
Happy to chip in too!
I’d love a letter – count me in!
Oooh. Could I do ‘M’ for ‘mums’? Finding out the hard way that it’s not always emotional dress-shopping trips, overenthusiastic ‘helping’ and mother-daughter spa days…. x
Oooh that sounds good. I think that would help others as somehow many of us have the idea that “planning weddings must be a perfect experience” and that the people around you fall into certain (stereotypical) roles which sometimes they just don’t.
Amen to that!
Here here!
There are so so SO many amazing ideas coming out here ladies – we are bouncing off our seats here at AOW headquarters, this is going to be something really wonderful. I wish there was something like this when I was wedding planning….although then I may not have felt the need to start AOW in the first place.
We’re so excited that so many of you want to be involved – we promise that will make it work so that each and every one of you who wants to take part absolutely can do, so keep the comments coming…
In that case, thank god there wasn’t! Can you imagine if this little corner of the tinterweb didn’t exist? I don’t even want to think about it.
Me! With 8 days to go I could do Zzzzzz – waking up at 2am thinking ‘so where shall I put those lanterns that I’ve just purchased’ i.e. try to get more sleep!
or W – weather… oh the sun has decided to f off again!! But really, whatever you fancy giving me….
Oh I love the idea of the gaining step-children one. Family dynamics are so interesting to me!
On the flip side I could do one on step-parents behaving badly at the wedding? She cried all evening at our reception wailing about how she hated having to share her husband with us… And brought two black plastic cats and sat them right in front of us on our top table so they are in all our photos (Who does that?! We planned how we wanted this room to look for 2 years woman!!). That’s her on her best behaviour though, past crimes include taking my husband’s key away him to give to their cleaner – right after his Mum had died and he didn’t have any place to call home.
As I said families are interesting!
xx
haha! I know… I can now laugh about the cats but at the time I wanted to throttle her. She did it before we were announced into the wedding breakfast and we were too happy to notice so every time I see the photos I think of her. Gahhh! We do have two cats (one is black), but just WHY?!!
I would love to do a letter please: maybe R for Religious Mixtures or W for Work-Wedding Planning-Life Balance. or… well whatever spare letter there may be
Oh religion’s a good one, especially when there’s a mix (and perhaps parental expectations?)
Oh yes I think R is going to need a few weeks attention… There’s also R for readings?
Please can I have V for volunteers? Some hints and tips on successfully asking for or accepting help to your best advantage?
Love this idea. going back to fread all the comments now.
I’d love to do an M for Mrs (you don’t have to be one!) or R for ring (you don’t have to wear one!), or any other letter you feel like assigning me. Just make it one where I can get shouty
Love a good Kirsty rant
Me too.
I feel like this needs to actually be a guide in one place like an isuu publication or something.
If you need an assistant type minion let me know. It needs pretty things in it and stuff. Yeah. I said stuff. You know all the things.
Yes – pleeeease another Kirsty rant!
K for knickers or U for underwear… either way we need to talk about that
If V is busy I could have H for help. I’d really like to have that as my topic whichever way it works.
Can someone do ‘Why It’s Ok To Have Bridesmaids And Not Choose What They Wear or Even What Colour’.
Just me then? Oh.
It’s like I can hear the actual sound of thousands of AOW readers minds whirring. Tell me it’s not just me who is hopping from one letter to another thinking of topics but not actually staying on that letter long enough to really think it through. W for waaaaaaaaaaaaa AOW is awesome sauce
Hahaha – I’m just worried that I have lots of Very Important Things to be getting on with and instead I’ve spent the morning pressing refresh on this page and going ‘ooooh that’s a brilliant idea’
Same Frankie!
I have loved reading through the comments, especially agree with Lucy and awesome sauce rating for AOW! Would love to write a post – I’m thinking B for Bridesmaids or Budgeting, H for hen do (and perhaps looking at why simple can be best), T for time together, M for marriage, C for cake / F for food…
Love the ‘tickets’ and ‘books’ ideas for gift request, so simple and sweet. We asked people to contribute to a piece of art (giant photo by our fave Sydney photographer) which we could never normally afford.
Can’t wait to see how this develops, would love to get married all over again with this wisdom (to the same man of course)!
Sorry to be the one to say it… but how’s about M for Marriage (that’s what it’s really about)?
P for Perspective. The wedding is just one day and yes the pretty stuff is important but at the end of the day it is just ‘stuff’ (although I will admit I focussed on this a lot too – I love the pretty too)
totally – and I think that’s typically the tone taken here too, so it’d fit nicely.
(I’m also soooo not ready to give advice on that – we’re definitely still in the honeymoon phase, and I’m just hoping that will last forever!)
Readers…you rock my world. We’ll email you soon with more details, if you’ve bagsied a letter or a topic, and when that post will run.
Still loads of flexibility and missing letters….anyone got any ideas for the following:
I, J, Q, T or U?
Also some great topics suggested at the top but no-one has bagsied them…any takers? Otherwise I’ll assign those interested a letter.
V is for Veils
R is for Readings
R is for Receptions
C is for Civil Ceremonies
Keep the ideas coming! x
Q could be Quick turnaround ie. short engagement
Haha just read your comment!
Ahh between us we’ve worked out all the letters Anna mentioned!
Go team!
U for umbrellas – Rain on your wedding day
I’ll do any that are missing
Got wedding fever at the moment, just back from 1 hen do, wedding this weekend then another hen do the following weekend and that wedding the week after that! Will keep my eyes peeled for other topics.
Probably not the best person to do Veils though since I didn’t have one.
J – Judgement – not judging yourself by other’s standards? Or not worrying about people judging you?
U – I think underwear is a good one that Anna suggested above?
T – Tipsy, to drink or not to drink?
I – There’s no I in wedding…
I also thought about B for Babies (or kids) as guests, A for Apps (love a good iPhone app!), P for Plus 1′s.
Q is a toughie though! x
Q= quality vs quantity AKA guest list….
I could do veil deffo…although I think the delegate/help one is the biggie for me…would it cross over too much with Anna? Maybe we have different takes on the same theme..
Px
I for invitations…handmade bl**dy invitations, which look amazing, but oh my goodness took soo long to sort out and make!
Penny – we can have both you and Anna doing delegating – no need to restrict a topic to just one reader. We’ll make it work.
I could do reception (home) if you don’t have a taker. Then I could get the flowers in too!
T: tears (do, don’t, doesn’t matter if you do)
J: juggernaut (of weddings, how to stop it and enjoy)
xxx
Should’ve mentioned this earlier, but I could do F for Fusion wedding mebbe? Or C for Culture Clash?! Wasn’t that a band in the 80′s or was that Culture Club?!
Ooo, this is exciting!
xoxo
T could be for Two – it’s not all about the bride.
I am so excited by this!
U for ushers
Yes Ushers/Extra people to help on the day
or Unbelievable kindness and goodwill towards you on your wedding day – my old boss used to tell me that was the thing that really knocked him for six when he got married – the ‘ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE HERE FOR YOU’ thing!
I’ve tried to submit to you before but it just bounces endlessly back which is a bit dispiriting!
Peridot I am so so sorry. Have you tried sending directly to one of our email addresses? Try sending to me clare@anyotherwoman.com
If that still doesn’t work, try our old address at anyotherwedding@live.co.uk – we don’t check it often but I’ll keep an eye on it if I know you’re sending something…
I have been caught out many a time by tying to email Anna@anyotherWEDDING.com not Anna@anyotherWOMAN.com so worth checking that?!
Just to echo this – we get a lot of bouncebacks because people don’t type @anyotherWOMAN.com
Please be careful of this, we would HATE your subs to disappear into the ether!
Peridot – am delighted we finally have your submission – readers, it’s a beaut!
One final thought before I go and get on with my life and stop pressing refresh: how about something Hen Do related. I’ve had a Hen Do post brewing for a while about how to be a good Hen Do guest – now that I’m organising one I can see how I can be more helpful as a Hen Do guest in future!
could I have said “Hen Do” any more times?
Q could also be doing it on the QT i.e. eloping. Any takers…?
Another Q option could be Quiet… I’ve seen some ranty posts going one way or another on babies & weddings – is it ok to ask for noisy babies to be *ahem* removed?
Or the more traditional wedding Queue?
Or a Quickie? (wedding that is… your dirty minds!)
Yes! We said no babies, ended up with three and they were all so incredibly good and quiet – the guilt!
I love the W-What Matters and I-There is No I in Wedding ideas! Still happy to be assigned a letter x
Don’t worry Vivienne – you shall be assigned a letter…. Anna is inputting it into the spreadsheet as we speak….
Ooh I’d love to be a part of this there were so many things I enjoyed about wedding planning and plenty of challenges too, so any letter would do! I did particularly love DIY-ing my own flowers and food tho! X
Hello!
I’m a long time reader (of both blogs!) and a very occasional commenter, but I would love to get involved in this, it sounds like fun! If there are any letters still kicking about, I’d love to write one for you
I’d be very happy to write something.
We got married on the other side of the world (my hometown) and it meant that some of our favourite people couldn’t be there. (And we still had a brilliant and perfect day.) I could write about that but have no idea what letter to use! D for distance? C for choices?
Oh my good gosh, readers.
So many phenomenal ideas. I don’t think, when we started this, we REALLY knew what we were getting into…and we’re all the more excited for it!
My much-mocked spreadsheet has all your ideas on it, and who’s bagsied what, and who’s still waiting to be assigned a letter.
We need to do a bit of behind-the-scenes work now to figure out how we can best make this work, and give those of you who have expressed interest in the same topic the best way of getting your voice heard.
Sit tight, we’ll be in touch via email, and if you have any further ideas, keep commenting!
Anna x
Would live to get involved in this, although it sounds like the alphabet has gone 3 times over already! It would be great if each letter had a practical post, something planning focused but then another post looking at an emotion or issue, as there’s nothing like a wedding for bringing emotions and relationships to the fore x
This is a lovely idea Sharon, I agree! x
I would love to be involved in this! It sounds like something I could talk about for a looooong time! No letter preference…
x
Am I too late to metaphorically put my hand up?! I’ll do any letter if there are any left…?! x
Sarah – not too late at all! You’re on the list! x
Damn!!! Am I too late???? Have all the letters gone? Can I still play? It’s the time difference and was without Internet yesterday… I will take any letter that hasnt been taken! X
Katy…you are a big IN. Doesn’t matter if you’re late! We’ll be in touch soon with details x
oo oo me me! Assign me a letter if there are any slots left!
I know I’m late to join the party but can I offer to write D for (amongst other things) Divorced parents? Can’t see that anyone else has taken that suggestion.
I know I am super late here… Having just read over all the comments no-one seems to have mentioned dealing with parents paying. So far in my planning it’s the only “issue” (you can’t really call it that, they’re awesome and giving us money…) that has come up, so I’d be happy to write something along those lines… But may not be useful, you all seem very grown-up and independent!
Sheesh, this is what you get for not checking AOW every day!! If it counts as a valid excuse the reason I’m late to this party is because I was away for the long weekend at, what else, a wedding!! But if there are any letters left I’d love to write something for you- really enjoyed writing for you last time and the lovely responses. But completely understand there’s probably no letters left!
Such a delicious idea chaps. If I’m not too hideously late happy to offer W – weather issues!
Are there any letters left? Would love to take part! X
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