Take the leap

I‘ve now been in KL for just over two months. It’s been a crazy time. In those two months, I’ve house hunted, friend hunted, car hunted and doctor hunted amongst other things, all whilst growing a baby. In a new country. In 35 degree heat.

Which sounds like I’m complaining. But actually I’m really really not. I have had the time of my life. It has been far easier to settle here than I ever expected.

I’ve made friends who I already know are going to be in my life for a long time to come  (they’re the type of friends you wish you’d made a year or two earlier because they really should have been at your wedding).

We’ve found a perfect apartment where I (and The Cat) feel at home and settled (it also has a dressing room, which may contribute towards my love for it. What? I’m easily impressed).

I’ve found a doctor who is happy to let me try and have the birth that I want (not that easy over here – think US-style medicated delivery and you get what the standard delivery is like here).

I’ve begun to adapt to the temperature (although my hair has definitely not adapted to the humidity), and now don’t need the air conditioning on 24/7 on order to prevent total meltdown (in all senses of the word).

Despite having cankles like these for the entire time of being in KL….

….how can I fail to be happy when this is the view from my BATH?

In fact, overall this experience, and the challenges that it has involved has been one that I have thoroughly enjoyed. Yes, it’s hard being on the other side of the world from your friends and family, but this is not 1989. We have email, skype, cheap mobile phone calls, and despite all of its downfalls, facebook. I can keep in touch with everyone, they can actually ‘see’ me and the bump, and I can keep up to date with everything going on in my friends’ lives. Even if I am waking up as they go to sleep. Sorry Aisling/Anna.

But if I’m honest this wasn’t how I thought it was going to be. The thought of moving to another (completely unknown to me) country when seven months pregnant scared the crap out of me. This was not how I’d planned things. I didn’t even know if I was ready for a baby, let alone having one in a foreign country where I knew no-one and would be a 14 hour flight from home. It was a huge leap to take. Andy and I spent nights awake talking about whether it was the right thing to be doing. About whether we COULD do it. 

I bored my friends and family to tears weighing up the pros and cons. Even when Andy and I weren’t up all night talking about it, I lay there wondering about whether I was crazy to do it, and whether we were strong enough to do it. I had to know that Andy and I were strong enough to be one another’s support networks if needs be. That even with zero sleep and sick covered clothes, we’d be there for each other, because it was quite possible that no-one else would be. 

But with blind optimism, and a little bit of hope, I did it. I took the leap. And it was absolutely the right thing to do. I know I’ll have times when I wish my family were closer, or that I could go outside without looking like 1980′s Cher, but over all, I know that it was the right thing to do. 

Taking the leap isn’t easy…but often you find that when you get there, the jumping was the hard bit. Life here on the other side of the leap is good. 

Categories: Becoming a Mother, Family, Friends and Relationships, Life Experience, Travel
15 interesting thoughts on this


  1. Posted November 30, 2011 at 7:29 am | Permalink

    Clare – this is so beautiful. I am so proud of your courage and in awe of you and Andy – these leaps will inspire your beautiful baby.

    Thank you for sharing. Heck, thank you for AOW xxx

  2. Posted November 30, 2011 at 8:07 am | Permalink

    This us such a brave and inspirational post, Clare. It makes me want to stand up and applaud you, although I shan't as I'm on the tube!

    K x

  3. mahj
    Posted November 30, 2011 at 8:48 am | Permalink

    Clare! I totes thought you'd had AOB and that's why we hadn't heard from you in a while!
    Erm, how amazing is your view?! KL will always have a special place in my heart due to honeymoon, but living there. Now that would be a hoot. You sound like your doing fantastically well, yay you!


  4. Posted November 30, 2011 at 9:26 am | Permalink

    Great post, so pleased you have settled in well there and your leap worked out!

    C xx

  5. Posted November 30, 2011 at 10:02 am | Permalink

    Soooo happy to hear it's going so well. I have so much admiration for you for doing this – having a baby is a gigantic leap, moving to another continent is a gigantic leap, doing both AT THE SAME TIME is mindblowing. You should be so proud of yourself, cankles or no cankles ;)

    Can't wait to (virtually) meet AOB x

  6. Posted November 30, 2011 at 11:24 am | Permalink

    Inspirational and gorgeous post. So pleased all is going well there – the times when you know you've made the right choice are amazing aren't they?
    Wishing you all the happiness in the world as a family and look forward to AOB news! xxx

  7. Posted November 30, 2011 at 11:35 am | Permalink

    No AOB yet Mahj – although tomorrow is the 'due date' – evidently this baby is in no rush to 'take the leap' and come on out to meet us.

    Fear not – you shall all know as and when he/she does decide to make an appearance! Xx

  8. Sarah
    Posted November 30, 2011 at 11:46 am | Permalink

    Clare, you are well brave. As Kirsty said, just the baby leap on its own is enough, but leaping over to a whole new country is another level.

    Well done you for settling in so quickly and glad to hear you're happy!

  9. Posted November 30, 2011 at 1:43 pm | Permalink

    I'm about to toss out the word inspiring. Yes Clare, you are inspiring. I doubt you look like 80's Cher though. Can't wait to see how it all unfolds from here!

  10. Posted November 30, 2011 at 1:57 pm | Permalink

    You're all very lovely, but honestly, if you could see me now, sat here in oversized pj's and an old vest top, bouncing up and down on my birthing ball, stuffing my face with banoffee pie and raspberry leaf tea, inspiring would not be the word that comes to mind!

  11. Posted November 30, 2011 at 2:22 pm | Permalink

    I properly lol'd at the cher image. Was imagining you resplendent in some kind of lacy bodysuit and biker boots avec bump. Sounds like you're doing marvellously over there, really don't know whether I'd have had the guts to do the same.

    And I am super jealous of that bathtime view!

  12. Posted November 30, 2011 at 3:02 pm | Permalink

    More people should look like 80s Cher if you ask me. It's cutting edge right now!

    This is a heartening post Clare, you've done so well. Just goes to show where strength of character, sheer determination and the support of a good marriage can get you. May this only the beginning of the K.L good times that are to come! Bring on AOB!


  13. Posted November 30, 2011 at 5:30 pm | Permalink

    Wonderful to hear that you're so settled in KL, Clare. Loving the bathtime view too! Everyone has already said it, but you and your journey really is inspirational! You must have an amazing marriage.

    Cannot wait to see AOB! Hurry up AOB!


  14. Posted November 30, 2011 at 6:42 pm | Permalink

    I agree, such an amazing and inspirational post, think Kirsty hit the nail on the had with the "both a the same time is mindblowing" comment. Loving your bath time view and also doubt you look like 80s Cher. Though the image of you on a birthing ball in your oversized PJs eating pie did make me laugh out loud!

    Really excited about AOB news…. He/She will have some very inspiring parents and a whole lot of AOW love coming their way!

    Sarah xxx

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    [...] you remember, way back when (Ok, last October), when I told you all how I was getting on in KL, and said that I’d met friends who I wished I’d met earlier because they should have [...]

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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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