Esme and Tom~Part the Second

I’m not going to say much here, besides I WISH I’D BEEN AT ESME AND TOM’S WEDDING. Truly, I do. So much love and care and happiness… You can read Part 1 here, and don’t fret that Esme hasn’t talked about their ceremony in detail-all in good time, my dears…

We left our guests stuffing their faces with personally-brewed tea and cake and spent some time having some couple shots taken. This was the point at which it really sunk in that we were married – I was just having so much FUN at our wedding and I was in the best mood ever, which I think shows in the pictures!

We could hear our guests laughing and talking, but it was just the two of us enjoying a few minutes to catch our breaths and focus on what the day meant. It was also pretty funny trying to get Tom’s ring off for the ubiquitous ‘ring and flower’ shots, as he has reasonably large knuckles. Once it was back on, we both realised that that was it because that bad boy was never coming off again without a hacksaw.

After about half an hour, we’d had enough so we shooed away the photographers and sat down with some friends for a chat. I thoroughly recommend that all brides do this – grab your most down to earth friends and have 10 minutes catching up on what they’ve been doing over the last few months whilst you’ve thought of nothing else but wedding vows and table plans. The main reason being that, as soon as you sit down, at least six people will offer to get you a drink, which is great! It was at this point that the cocktails started coming out and we both felt the shift from the day-part of the wedding to the party-part!

The cocktails were our big splurge, but they were SO worth it. As well as getting lots of cool photographs of our friends posing with martini glasses, we also felt quite sophisticated having cocktails and canapés before dinner. They went down a storm and were a very useful distraction during the family photographs! Another bride tip: when you’ve had enough of the posed photographs, just say so. At the moment, I don’t regret the fact that we didn’t get photographs of every single combination of family and friends (but this may be because this was our tactic to avoid the difficult question of ‘who should be in the photo of the bride’s family?’ because my Mum’s family won’t speak to my Dad. And it was a good idea, judging by the not-so-under-the-breath mutterings from my Mum’s sister when my Dad got up for his speech…). Besides, if we hadn’t stopped when we did we would have regretted missing out on watching our friends make a human pyramid!

Tom decided that he wanted to have the speeches before dinner, which I was a little nervous about, but it worked out absolutely fine. In fact, the speeches were probably my second favourite part of the day (after the ceremony, obvs). After the first 3 minutes of my Dad’s speech, I very consciously decided not concentrate on how long they were lasting and instead sat back and enjoyed the experience, one that I am sure I will never have again. All three guys gave the most fantastic speeches: my Dad’s had just the right number of embarrassing stories and finished with getting everyone to sing You Are My Sunshine to me (it was the only thing that got me to sleep ages 0-6 apparently), which was really special, if slightly surreal; Tom mixed heartfelt ‘thank you’s with cheeky jibes at my crazy family, and there was not a dry eye in the house when he mentioned how much he wished his Grandfathers had been able to meet me and see him get married. The Best Man, Mark, made Tom cringe and had everyone laughing at the story of how when Tom asked me out, I made him wait a few days before saying yes, because I thought he was a bit too much of a geek.

Lovely wedding memory number 3
My aforementioned young niece does NOT like sitting in her highchair and, as there were so many people who were aware of where she was and what she was trying to grab, she was happily walking around the marquee during the speeches. She’s a big fan of clapping, so every time we clapped at something my Dad/Tom/Mark said, she stopped whatever she was doing, stood up and clapped and cheered along with us. She was an absolute angel the whole day, but this was a highlight for me.

Dinner flowed even better than we had hoped it would – food and conversation-wise – and I know that we both felt very special looking over at a sea of friends and family enjoying themselves at OUR party (sorry, wedding). Put it this way, we had to tell everyone THREE TIMES to get their backsides away from the tables and to the bar so that the band could set-up and the dance floor be prepared.

And so we talked, laughed, danced, drank, and ooh-ed and ahh-ed at fireworks for the rest of the evening, slipping away quietly after some manic dancing and drunken exclamations from friends. It was a truly wonderful day that came together even more beautifully than we could have ever hoped it would. But we can’t take all the credit: we simply couldn’t and wouldn’t have achieved any of this without some amazing family and friends and so, from the bottom of our newlywed hearts, we thank you.

I’m under no illusions that ours was the most beautiful or best-planned or happiest (although it was to us!) wedding ever, but that couldn’t bother me any less. I remember trying to explain to Tom after a particularly stressful budget planning session not long after we got engaged that whatever kind of wedding we were able to afford, it would always be our perfect wedding simply because it would be OUR wedding and we would be marrying each other. He didn’t get it at the time (I think because at that point it was looking like we were going to have to get married in the local park with 2 bottles of Tesco Value cider), but I think he might understand what I meant now.
*Once again, all these beautiful pictures are by Martmari Photography
Categories: Real Married, Wedding Planning, Wedding Pretty, Wedding Reports
14 interesting thoughts on this


  1. Mahj
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 9:05 am | Permalink

    Oh Esme and Tom, how I love thee, let me count the ways.
    I think what was most special for me about your report, was that it made me remember just how giddy and happy I was on my own Big Day, so thank you. You both look so loved up and happy in the photos and I reckon every wedding should have a human pyramid!


  2. Esme
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 9:14 am | Permalink

    Thanks Mahj, that really means a lot xx

  3. Posted October 27, 2011 at 10:22 am | Permalink

    Oh Esme, this is beautiful.

    I'm thrilled you had such a happy day.

    Anybody getting married, I cannot recommend highly enough, that you don't let the photographers rule your day. I had to bring posed photos to an end early, as I just wanted to join our guests.

  4. Posted October 27, 2011 at 10:33 am | Permalink

    Esme, so pretty, so happy, so lovely. Congratulations. Although I've no doubt you'd have rocked a 'two bottles from Tesco in the park' soiree just as glowingly.

  5. Posted October 27, 2011 at 10:33 am | Permalink

    Love the advice, here, Esme. It's so nice to read advice for normal people. Normal, kind, loving people who don't give a toss about anything else except being happy.

    Mahj, human pyramids are the S/S 11version of a favour, don't you know?!

    My favourite photos here? Your niece (I assume?) and the one of Tom hugging, and the pyramid, and…arrrgh I'm listing all of them. For the joy. It's infectious.

    And the best conclusion. Thanks Esme – it was an honour to bring this to our readers!

  6. Posted October 27, 2011 at 10:45 am | Permalink

    I love this – thanks for sharing, Esme. Looks (and sounds) like a fabulous, joy-filled day. And like Mahj, it really reminded me of just how happy my own wedding day was. Thank you! x

  7. Esme
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 11:03 am | Permalink

    Thanks Anna. I wanted to give actual useful advice and the fact that I've been able to remind people of their Big Days is a bonus!

    Yes, that is my niece in the pink dress (we were so worried that she wouldn't wear it but she actually didn't want to take it off at the end of the day!) and Tom is hugging his mum with his dad in the background.

    I totally agree, Katie – it's your day and 20 minutes is enough!

    And Gemma? You have no idea… ;o)

    Oh, and for the record. The people in that human pyramid? You wouldn't want to know how many degrees they've got between them… There's a head of Maths and 2 barristers in there!


  8. Posted October 27, 2011 at 11:13 am | Permalink

    I'm in full agreement with everyone else-these photos and your words are so full of love and happiness that it's impossible not to feel uplifted by them.

    Also, I'm going to have to confess…I have a *small* crush on the very handsome man with the dreadlocks. There! I said it!


  9. Posted October 27, 2011 at 11:19 am | Permalink

    Esme thank you.

    You have created the perfect wedding report for AOW. It doesn't make you envious, or jealous or think 'I would love that but I could never create it' like some reports on other blogs can make you feel – it just makes anyone planning their own wedding truly excited for how much joy they've got coming their way, and reminds those of us that are married how bloody wonderful it was.

    Good work Esme, good work.

  10. Posted October 27, 2011 at 11:27 am | Permalink

    And when Aisling says "small crush", that basically means I was heavily coerced, whilst posting Tom's groom with a view piece, into including a photo of said dreadlocked man.

    A, you can't kill me, you owe me one for telling everyone about my penchant for the MTV Best Kiss Award 2005 clip. So there.

  11. Esme
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 11:29 am | Permalink

    Ha Aisling, that is brilliant! He is a great guy and was the absolute perfect best man for Tom. Yes, that's right – the guy with the dreadlocks in the same tea blending genius. Unfortunately he is already taken ladies.

    And thanks Clare, that is really sweet xx

  12. Posted October 27, 2011 at 2:11 pm | Permalink

    More lovely words and pictures Esme! I love your face when your Dad is making his speech. I appear to be doing something similar in our photos! We also had speeches before dinner so M could enjoy his food and not be worrying about his speech (don't think my Dad was bothered, he wasn't even nervous!).

    I want to know the story behind the human pyramid and how it came about…

    Also, sooooo badly want a buttefly cupcake now, they look so yummy!


  13. Posted October 27, 2011 at 4:47 pm | Permalink

    What a lovely blog post for a dreary thursday, cheered me right up it did.

  14. Posted October 27, 2011 at 6:57 pm | Permalink

    Ahh I've been waiting all day to read this properly on my laptop instead of on my silly phone, to get the full experience, and it was SO worth it. The added bonus being I didn't well-up reading it on the tube but instead at home on my sofa. Much safer.

    I think this is the perfect wedding report, just so full of love and joy and honesty. It makes me look forward to my own wedding day so much that I'm genuinely bouncing slightly in excitement. Another reason to be glad I'm reading this at home alone!

    K x

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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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