A letter from my 15-year-old self. {Penny}

So, this e-mail turns up in our inboxes the day of Fee’s amazeballs ‘Letter to my 15 year old self’ post. The subject line: ‘A Twist on the Theme’. There’s no preamble to the content of the e-mail, it simply launches straight into the post you’re about to read. The e-mail has been sent to Anna, Clare and myself from the wonderful Penny and within seconds of finishing reading it we’re firing e-mails to one another across the interweb ‘PENNY-I WANT TO LICK YOUR FACE’ (Aisling) ‘PENSKY, I LOVE YOU’ (Anna) and ‘LET’S JUST POST THIS EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF FOREVER’ (Clare). Luckily Penny didn’t think we were completely batshit crazy and was totes happy to let us wallpaper our homes with it post it on the blog. It’s epic and fantastic and hilarious but sweet and sincere and all kinds of goosebumpy lovely. Over to Penny (of Penny and the Sausages.)

Are we related? I thought we made a pact that we’d be enormously successful and living in a penthouse apartment in Manhattan by now? I did think we’d at least have been on Top of the Pops… what do you MEAN there’s no TOTP in the future? And no hoverboards? BOGUS. Back To The Future 2 LIED.

You’re not like me at all. I can’t believe you enjoy exercise to the point of wanting a career in it, for starters. I put A LOT of effort into those sick notes for P.E, and this is how you thank me? I’m aching just thinking about it. Ugh. I don’t want this to be my life. SEND HELP. Can I fake a sick note to get out of being my future self? A sick note to God?

I like your house though. It’s BIG! And full of amazing stuff. There are SOOOO many guitars…and so many records… OH. They’re not ALL cool though. I spent all those years standing in stinking record shops flipping through small label 7″s for you to own this many Genesis LPs? And now you play in a covers band? WHY DID I BOTHER LEARNING ALL THOSE WEIRD TIME SIGNATURES – JUST SO YOU COULD SING TIFFANY?

GOD you’re so embarrassing.

You have a lot of friends though, that’s weird. I don’t have that many. And you’re not scared of anything. You just do it. You don’t give a sh*t, do you? I can’t ever imagine being like that.

Who’s this? This is who we get to marry? He’s not mysterious and brooding at all. He’s just very, very silly. Was that on our List of Qualities? I don’t remember that being down on there. He is funny though. And sweet. And sort of cute. And borderline offensive. OK, I just heard him play guitar extremely well, I WILL LET YOU OFF for this one.

God you are BOTH so embarrassing together, look at you! So SAD. You just don’t care what anyone thinks about you! ARGH!

I thought we’d be rich and successful. But you don’t care about any of that any more. It’s as if you’re only bothered about being happy and being with Other People. When do Other People stop being scary and complicated and impossible to talk to and start being on our side?

This is weird. YOU’RE weird.

I can’t believe we’re related.

Categories: Life Experience, Our Favourite Posts
15 interesting thoughts on this

13 Comments

  1. Posted September 28, 2011 at 8:22 am | Permalink

    This has just made me smile and laugh out loud totally god damn brilliant I don't even want to know what my 15 year old self would think of me (total fail!) :-)

  2. Posted September 28, 2011 at 8:39 am | Permalink

    Ha, fantastic! This has made my morning. Penny can I come live with you and just spend my whole life basking in the glow of your reflected Pure Awesome?

    K x

  3. Mahj
    Posted September 28, 2011 at 8:47 am | Permalink

    I love Penny. There I said it.

    I really must remember to not drink tea/coffee/any kind of liquid when reading awesomeness such as this. Far to much snorting and mopping up going on!

    xoxo

  4. Sarah
    Posted September 28, 2011 at 8:48 am | Permalink

    Brilliant! I loved reading this. My bedroom looked a lot like that at 14! There are lots of days where I lament the fact that I'm not 'rich and successful'- but this reminds me that really,I am. x

  5. Posted September 28, 2011 at 8:48 am | Permalink

    Yay for this!! It's so happy and positive and lovely. (and hilarious, natch)

  6. Rachbakes
    Posted September 28, 2011 at 8:52 am | Permalink

    this has made my day.

    Penny, I think I love you.

  7. Posted September 28, 2011 at 9:19 am | Permalink

    Brilliant. I love Penny too.

    I also let go of my hang ups between 15 and 28 of worrying what other people think of me. I think it may have made me rather eccentric, but I quite like this quality, and am so much happier. xx

  8. Posted September 28, 2011 at 9:35 am | Permalink

    Oh Penny. My 15-year-old self would have been waaaaaaay too uncool for your 15-year-old self (in fact that probably applies to my 27-year-old self too) but I think both of you are freaking awesome.

  9. Posted September 28, 2011 at 10:13 am | Permalink

    Favourite. Post. Ever. On anything.

  10. Fee
    Posted September 28, 2011 at 1:40 pm | Permalink

    I love this! Penny – you're AWESOME!

    I have the sneaking suspicion my 15 year old self would think I was cool for having a house and a car – but very uncool for never managing to achieve the ultimate goal of marrying Howard Donald.

  11. Posted September 28, 2011 at 1:40 pm | Permalink

    I love this the most. Penny's 15 year old self is ace.

  12. Posted September 29, 2011 at 7:42 am | Permalink

    I have just laughed and cried at the same time. Very funny but very poignant, Penny. I heart A LOT! You are a genius, Cx

  13. Posted September 29, 2011 at 6:38 pm | Permalink

    Fucking brilliant. Can I say fucking?

2 Trackbacks

  • By Pen Do’s and Dont’s on February 28, 2012 at 11:45 pm

    [...] We know she can write, Bad Penny Says makes for fantastic reading, and some of our readers’ favourite posts were written by her fair hand.  And hell can she sing.  Her warm-up track at [...]

  • By The Friend That Made Me, Me – Penny on February 29, 2012 at 10:02 am

    [...] stories and histories.   Penny‘s written for us before, writing that makes you want to break out into spontaneous applause.  We know she wields her words like you would a knife. But this conclusion here, today?  [...]

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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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