14 Sleeps….

I’ve got a real soft spot for Esme. She’s been a friend of the blog for a long time and we like to think that we helped her a *little* with her budget-guilt-dilemmas. All that aside, she’s the sweetest. most genuine person you could imagine and in 2 weeks time (eeeee!) she’s GETTING MARRIED! We absolutely cannot wait to wave Esme off across the No Man’s Land between Miss and Mrs (or Miss, still. Or Ms!) and we adore her take on being ‘nearly there’. I say this to Esme and to every one of our readers who’s not yet married (or even engaged!)-enjoy this time. Really enjoy it. Make the effort to sit back, switch off, hold hands and eat strawberries dipped in chocolate. Trust me, I’m a Mrs…! Over to you, Esme…

Family + emotions = wedding?
I have just over two weeks left until my wedding and we’re pretty much there: my dress has been pressed and is waiting to be worn, bridesmaid shoes are getting broken in, the boy’s hair has been cut (he always gets it done too short, so we agreed on 3 weeks before!), the table plan is almost there and the cheques have been written and are ready to be sent. I have a little butterfly of excitement in my stomach and every time I think about walking down the aisle, or the ‘you may kiss the bride’ part, I well up. The months of engagement have flown by, I only have one more week at work and it’s almost time to start decorating the venue.
But not everyone is as prepared or as excited as me or my boy. The ‘final’ number of guests is reducing day by day as plans change, parents realise that the dinner is at baby’s bedtime etc etc, and every evening there seems to be a phone call from one family member or other criticising one of our decisions, asking why we haven’t done such-and-such, rolling their eyes (I can hear it over the phone, I swear) when I chase the one thing I’d asked them to do – ‘It’ll get done, don’t stress!’ I discovered the other day that my Mum called me the B word (the one that ends in –zilla) in an email to her best friend and when I questioned her about it she told me to calm down and that every Mother of the Bride says it as a joke. No laughing from this end, I can tell you.
One of my fiancé’s closest friends just last week realised that our wedding is on the same day as his Mum’s flight into the UK and announced that he ‘may pop in at some point’. We knew that at least one person was going to let us down and make us feel as though they didn’t care, but I didn’t think it would be this guy, you know? I tell myself that it’s because we’re young and our friends aren’t married and so they don’t yet appreciate what a wedding really means, but it still hurts. I keep thinking of this post by APW’s Lauren and reminding myself that it’s not just me.
When you first enter the wedding bubble, you keep in the back of your mind that your wedding will never be as important to anyone else as it is to you. We’d been together for 8 years when we got engaged and so expected a certain amount of ‘about time! Nothing’s going to change’, but what no-one ever warns you about is how isolating it can feel when the people closest to you disregard your wedding – something that means everything to you and represents the start of your marriage and your new baby family. I tell you what, one of the reasons that I can’t wait to be married is so that I can start having normal conversations with my in-laws!
On the flip side, however, there are the people who send you texts saying ‘just 2 months to go! I am SOOOO excited!’ and the fact that my Maid of Honour and I are now closer than ever because of all this planning/dress shopping/long lunches drinking prosecco discussing what marriage is actually going to be like. And I have discovered the wonderful community which is Any Other Wedding, ‘meeting’ some lovely people who have shown genuine interest in my plans and giving me compliments that I don’t know if I deserve.
So, is it worth it? I’ll tell you in just over two week’s time. But my hunch is that it will be…
Categories: Real Bride, Wedding Planning
11 interesting thoughts on this

10 Comments

  1. Posted August 1, 2011 at 8:48 am | Permalink

    Gorgeous post and all the luck in the world… Being a Mrs is the greatest feeling in the world!

    And you are so very NOT alone in the letdown department. Sometimes you can put it down to ignorance, but in some instances I am certain there is NO excuse. Doesn't matter how prepared you are either, it really stings!

    Can only reiterate what you have already said… Focus in tight on the people who are exploding with happiness for you, especially (if you're a sensitive soul like me) on the day itself… Keep your new husband's hand tightly in yours and enjoy every second.

    With a vicariously excited yay and a whoop…

    Px

  2. Posted August 1, 2011 at 9:07 am | Permalink

    Esme, this is a great post, and you are not alone. Three people didn't turn up on the day of my wedding (wasted us £300) and that hurt hugely, but you know what, it's your day and it is their loss.

    Do not let them drag you down! This is a time when you will be the most excited in your life – celebrate that, revel in it.

    Chances are, people aren't thinking what you fear they are about you – you're just projecting your own fears -and if they are? Sod them. You're getting married. That's your focus x

  3. Posted August 1, 2011 at 9:11 am | Permalink

    A lovely post, I remember thinking 2 weeks before our wedding wow I can't believe it's nearly here and it's actually going to happen!

    We had a few people let us down but we also had an amazing number of people who really showed they cared and helped us so much we were so lucky.
    I can truly say after 1 year of marriage it's the best feeling and even though I didn't think it would be true it has made us closer as a couple. So enjoy these two weeks and enjoy your day because no matter what, it's going to be the best xx

  4. Posted August 1, 2011 at 9:33 am | Permalink

    Oh Esme, I'm so excited for you – it's so close now!
    Ditto what everyone says – it's disappointing when people let you down, but the people that will be there on the day will be the ones that really want to celebrate with you two and appreciate being there. One of my husband's cousins didn't turn up on the day and didn't even bother to text, phone or email before hand, which was really annoying, but on hindsight I'm glad she didn't come if it meant so little to her.
    Getting married is fantastic, and it's hard to imagine just how it feels to have all these people you love rallying round you both – it's amazing.
    Enjoy these last two weeks!

    xx

  5. Posted August 1, 2011 at 9:51 am | Permalink

    Weddings and babies really do let you know who your real friends are and where you are on people's list of priorities.

    One of my husbands best friends avoided RSVP-ing till the very last minute, and when pushed decided not to come because we wouldn't invite his girlfriend of 8 weeks. Obviously the importance we placed on him being there wasn't reciprocated.

    Family can be the worse, and while we were generally lucky, my SIL made life very hard for herself despite being offered multiple good options to her childcare issues…but it was purely because neither we, nor her husband (our best man) would pander to her selfishness. Even people who are married seem to forget the stress that the guest list/rsvps cause.

    But, it is worth it. More than worth it. When you are standing at the top of the aisle, hand in hand with your handsome new husband, at that precise moment, it really doesn't matter any more

    xxx

  6. Posted August 1, 2011 at 10:28 am | Permalink

    Yaaaaay so excited for you Esme! You will have an amazing, amazing day and you are utterly deserving of every compliment and nice thing that comes your way. Enjoy these last two weeks and whenever you feel yourself getting stressed, just focus on something about the wedding that you are excited and happy about and let the negative feelings wash away. We are all cheering for you!

  7. Posted August 1, 2011 at 10:28 am | Permalink

    Oh your opening paragraph brought back so many memories. Conversations about when would be the right time for Warmth to have his Wedding haircut, oh the cheque writing and most importantly imagining walking up the aisle surrounded by such love from family and friends. Happy 14 sleeps to you both xrachel

  8. Posted August 1, 2011 at 11:31 am | Permalink

    I hope you have a fab day Esme and that the people who are not being what you hoped for get themselves together in time for it.
    If they don't like the other ladies said, it is their loss.

    All the best for the day and have a wonderful time!! And stuff the ones that you feel are letting you down!
    xx

  9. Esme
    Posted August 1, 2011 at 12:31 pm | Permalink

    Thanks ladies. We can't wait! And will definitely be taking your advice and enjoying these last few days before I become Mrs W xx

  10. Posted August 1, 2011 at 8:00 pm | Permalink

    Esme,

    You're going to rock this-I cannot wait to hear all about it and your hunch is absolutely spot on, it'll all be worth it!

    And you absolutely deserve every compliment! You silly sausage.

    X

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    [...] and Tom~Part the First Yes, it’s that Esme. ‘Our’ Esme, as we rather cheekily refer to her here at AOW! We’re incredibly [...]

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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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