2 years ago today: the re-write

I, Anna K, do take thee, Mr K, to be my lawful wedded husband. I do solemnly declare, in front of all persons here present, that I will never be as batshit crazy again as I was in the few weeks running up to today. I promise to always remember that bunting does not a marriage make, and that £300 is not a reasonable price for a cake.

I promise to love you, honour you, cherish you, and to be patient because you want to change the pillow covers at 2am AGAIN because you love the smell of fabric softener when you sleep.

I vow to take things in my stride when we are married. I vow to remember that we are two different people who deal with problems in very different ways. I vow to respect when you don’t want to talk about your feelings. I vow to not get upset or think you’re shutting me out. I vow to see the bigger picture.

I promise never to forget to buy the pineapple juice that you love for breakfast. I promise not to be scratchy in the mornings. I promise to always hug you for five more minutes even when it will make me late for work. I promise I won’t keep asking for a baby, a cat and a Kitchen Aid when I know we are trying really hard to save for a house. I promise to remember that there’s no rush, and that we have each other. I promise not to wish away the time we have together.

I vow to tell you every day that I love you, even if we argue. I vow to remember every day how compassionate and kind and full of integrity you are, even when you’re being an ass. I vow to back you up in front of other people, even when I know you’re wrong.

I don’t vow not to mention it later.

I promise to remember that we are a team, and that we are always in it together, and that we are stronger together. I promise not to get impatient with your logic or wish you were better at small talk. I promise to remember that the bad times are something to be worked through and not to be given up on.

I solemnly swear to remember how lucky I am that you chose me. I swear to remember, two years into our marriage, that you make me the very best of myself that I can be. I swear never to think that we are perfect, invincible, or that we know it all. I swear to keep trying, and keep learning, and keep adventuring with you, in order to make our marriage work. I swear I will enjoy every second.

The owl joined us in our vows. It’s a little awkward now, especially at bedtime.

This post was inspired by Holly Burns at Nothing But Bonfires, who kindly permitted me to do my own spin on her perfect post, here.

Categories: Life Experience, Marriage, Written By Anna
19 interesting thoughts on this


  1. Posted June 13, 2011 at 9:21 am | Permalink

    Beautiful! A mere 2 months of marriage and I have already learnt so much, I can only imagine what I will 'know' in 2 years. Thanks for sharing this x

  2. Posted June 13, 2011 at 9:58 am | Permalink

    Beautiful. Happy 2nd anniversary. It's our 2nd anniversary today too. I might have to do my own version later :)

  3. Katie
    Posted June 13, 2011 at 10:41 am | Permalink

    Yay. I love this. You are so thoughtful with your backing each other up in public promise.

    I like your comment on £300 for a cake not being reasonable. I thought I'd bake and ice my own to save money. I have worked out the cost of new kitchen equipment (massive mixing bowl, various baking tins, cake icing tools, dowels), cake decorating book, fabulous pedestal cake stand, ingredients (marzipan is sooo expensive) – and I dont think I have any change from £300 (5 fruit cakes and 1 madeira).

    I have enjoyed baking the cakes, and started on the icing last week.

    See, you were correct, £300 is a reasonable price.


  4. Katie
    Posted June 13, 2011 at 10:44 am | Permalink

    P.S. Happy Anniversary!

  5. Posted June 13, 2011 at 10:48 am | Permalink

    Katie, that made me laugh! £300 for a home-made beauty of a cake is a far cry for £300 for a soulless shop-bought creation!

    PFDR – YES, write some…it's immensely cathartic!

    LWLM – it will fly by! x

  6. Posted June 13, 2011 at 11:57 am | Permalink

    I love this Anna – it feels like something I could have written myself about our marriage. Happy anniversary to you both! xx

  7. Esme
    Posted June 13, 2011 at 12:37 pm | Permalink

    Happy anniversay Anna. What a great post. Why aren't more actual vows like this? Why shouldn't they be?! xx

  8. Esme
    Posted June 13, 2011 at 12:37 pm | Permalink

    Happy anniversay Anna. What a great post. Why aren't more actual vows like this? Why shouldn't they be?! xx

  9. Posted June 13, 2011 at 5:29 pm | Permalink

    Oh my gosh, I totally identify with this, especially the 'I vow not to get upset or think you're shutting me out' bit. Mine would include 'so I guess I won't ask you 77.5 times in a row: you're ok though, aren't you. You're ok? You'd tell me if you weren't ok? Because, well, you're just so….erm…. quiet? But you're ok, yeah?' I think I have a wee girl crush on you Anna.

  10. Posted June 13, 2011 at 6:23 pm | Permalink

    I am writing one of these bad boys! For defo. Oh, the things I could vow!

  11. Posted June 13, 2011 at 6:23 pm | Permalink

    Oh, and congrats!

  12. Posted June 13, 2011 at 7:38 pm | Permalink

    Will I ever get bored of getting comments? Will I feck.

    Right, ladies, we have to start a campaign for some more realistic vows. To have, to hold, for better, for worse….yawn. Let's shake up the ceremony!

    Note to Mr K – I do actually believe in the sanctity of vows. Promise.

  13. Posted June 13, 2011 at 7:46 pm | Permalink

    I loved this when Holly did it and I love it even more, knowing you and knowing that these vows are EXACTLY you. It's just too lovely.

    I would give ANYTHING to have had vows like this-I'll have to settle for hopefully being at a wedding where this is done. How amazing would that be?!

    Happy Anniversary Mr and Mrs K, here's to at least 60 more.


  14. Posted June 13, 2011 at 7:56 pm | Permalink

    PS Anna, you are talking to an owl on this picture. But you look hot. Just thought you should know. Thanksbye.

  15. Posted June 13, 2011 at 9:04 pm | Permalink

    Happy Anniversary to you and Mr K!

  16. Posted June 15, 2011 at 10:17 am | Permalink

    @Anna – I did write some. I sent them to husband, he really liked the idea. Thank you.

  17. Posted June 15, 2011 at 3:48 pm | Permalink

    Ha. Funny and lovely account of your marriage so far. Happy anniversary.

2 Trackbacks

  • By How I met your mother. on February 29, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    [...] your own. I had such good intentions. And then I realised…I was all profounded out. After the post-wedding vows to Mr K of last week, followed by the team’s “the summer that made me, me” (here, [...]

  • By Three Years In on June 13, 2012 at 7:01 am

    [...] years into our marriage, I wrote the vows I wish I could have said on that day.  We were still blindly loved up and life hadn’t got in the way, back [...]

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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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