It’s no secret how much we LOVE Kirsty from A Safe Mooring. A lot. And even more, after reading her Any Other Photo submission. When she e-mailed it over to me, she was all ‘Aahhh I’m sorry it’s so LONG and so BOSSY!’ Pish, I said. No such thing as ‘too long’ on AOW and you can never be too bossy. Well, I guess you could be, but Kirsty just isn’t. She is, as ever, wonderful and wise and honest. And gorgeous. Here you are…
I know everyone says this, but it was sooo hard to pick just one photo. Every single image that Lillian and Leonard gave us is absolutely stunning (apart from the one of me in my pants. That one is less than lovely). So, I’m still not sure if this is my favourite… but it’s definitely up there near the top of the list, not just for how it looks but for everything it represents. To me, this photo sums up everything a wedding should be. Not what the mainstream wedding media tells us it should be – extravagant, polished, colour-co-ordinated to the nth degree – but what I hoped and believed *our wedding* should be. Yes, yes, I know, “should” is a dirty word on many an indie wedding blog, but here, nevertheless, is my own personal list of wedding shoulds. Don’t shout at me…
A wedding should be relaxed.
It’s such an emotionally charged day, and the culmination of so much planning and worrying and wishing and hoping, that relaxing on the day is not as easy as it sounds. But at the precise moment this photo was taken, I’m not stressing about how my hair looks or whether we will run out of Pimms. The only thing I’m worrying about is getting another lick of that ice cream before Fin munches the lot.
A wedding should be personal.
The seaside town where I grew up and where we got married is part of me, and part of our relationship. Dramatic, arty shots atop ancient castles or cool quirky photos with a vintage camera in one hand and a fake moustache in another are fabulous in their own ways, but I look at this photo and it feels like *us*. It’s not fancy, it’s not trendy, it’s just us. (Of course, if castles or cameras are your thing then go for it - our thing just happens to be beaches and ice cream. We’re so easily pleased.)
A wedding should be courteous.
As brides, we are constantly told that “it’s your day”, “you’re the bride”, “it’s all about you”. Yes, you’re a bride, but you’re still a human being. When the lady in front of us in the queue for the ice cream van (that’s right – we are G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S) turned around and clocked the white dress and veil, she immediately offered to let us skip in front of her. It was a warm day and a long queue, and our guests were waiting for us, but she was first. So we thanked her, we politely refused, and we waited. The white dress does not, in my opinion, give you a free pass to be inconsiderate or rude, whether to your guests, your suppliers, or the lovely lady in the ice cream queue.
We got the ice cream for free though. Well, there are some perks to being the bride.
A wedding should be beautiful.
Whatever beautiful means to you. I am fascinated by the contrasts that Lillian and Leonard
have captured in this moment: Fin’s dark, dense jacket against the soft whiteness of my dress; the formality and symbolism of a bridal veil, with a jumbled row of seaside cottages behind it; the perfect clarity of Fin’s smiling eyes and my own scrunched-up, slightly blurry laughter – all of it, to me, is beautiful.
A wedding should be fun.
Ultimately, I just love how ridiculously happy we both look in this photo – not in a cheesy, forced, smile-for-the-camera way, or even in a lovey-dovey, gaze-into-each-other’s-eyes way, but in a real, honest, we’re-having-the-most-fun-day-ever kind of way. If you’re going to spend a small fortune (whatever your budget may be
) and all that time (again, it’s all relative
, but I can tell you that seven months felt like a looooong time) planning this shindig, you’d better have a damn good time. As I think you can probably tell from this photo, we really, really did.