On becoming a wife {12pm – 1.30pm}

It is 12 o’clock and we are waving good bye to the ladies who used their immense talent to make us look wonderful, when the first guests start to arrive. We will spend time watching them arrive, and each new person that we spot will buoy us up onto another wave of happiness. We will lean out of the window to chat and nervously trade jokes, until I realise that there is probably some unwritten rule about not seeing your guests before the wedding and I will probably now be doomed to a life of misery and despair. Or something.

I will duck and hide, and retreat to the sofa with my champagne in a beaker, listening to Build me up Buttercup as it gets stuck on repeat on the ipod.
The photographer returns to find all of us sat on the sofa drinking champagne and eating sandwiches and delicately points out that as we should be in the church in forty five minutes, we may want to take off our pyjamas, beautiful as they are, and replace them with something more suitable for a wedding. As the bridesmaids step into their grey dresses, I stand and look at my dress and as I do so time speeds up so that without any warning, we have only twenty five minutes remaining and I am still wearing my pyjamas.
 As I am pushed and pinned into my dress I actually relish the restriction that it gives, and finally begin to feel that this is our day that we’ve talked about for so long. I catch sight of myself in the mirror, and whilst I still look like me, I look like a polished version of me, and I am immensely greatful for both. I will always have an imperfect face, but I find myself surprisingly glad to see my familiar flaws staring back at me. The dress is beautiful but I still can’t get past the feeling that it is a costume, a dressing-up outfit that I’ve pulled out of the tattered cardboard box at the back of my mum’s wardrobe, and so to see my face there reminds me that it is me who is making this commitment, and me who is moving onto the next stage of my life, baggage, insecurities and all.

Later my dad will be come to my room and as I see the pride in his eyes, for the first time all day the emotion will bubble inside me, and I will struggle to prevent the tears from coming.

We will walk downstairs and out of the back door to see the vicar waiting at the gate, all smiles and gentle reassurance. I will wave to my mum as she goes into the church, and once again the emotion will rise inside me. It is One Thirty.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Previous On becoming a wife posts…


On becoming a wife {7am – 12pm}
On becoming a wife {Friday}
On becoming a wife {The Preceding Week}

*All photos, as always, by Matt Davis Photography*
Categories: Wedding Reports
8 interesting thoughts on this

8 Comments

  1. Posted January 19, 2011 at 10:53 am | Permalink

    Lovely, just so so lovely. And your photos are absolutely beautiful.

  2. Posted January 19, 2011 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    Oh goodness, your dad's face is making me cry too! Lovely, lovely xxx

  3. Posted January 19, 2011 at 12:26 pm | Permalink

    Your photos are so so beautiful! I don't know what you were worrying about – you make a beautiful bride :) Gorgeous pic of you and your dad!

  4. Posted January 19, 2011 at 3:39 pm | Permalink

    I love your dress and you look beautiful. Very much enjoying your recaps and your stunning photos. It's odd how the time goes on the morning of the wedding isn't it?

  5. Posted January 19, 2011 at 7:02 pm | Permalink

    Aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww……….

    x

  6. Posted January 20, 2011 at 5:25 pm | Permalink

    I've only recently discovered your blog and love reading these wee posts. I got really nervous while reading it (4 months to W day) because your wonderful words and emotive pictures describe the morning so well. I can't wait for the next installment!

  7. SVK
    Posted January 21, 2011 at 9:58 am | Permalink

    Beautiful words…and dress and photos…Enjoying this very much!

  8. Posted January 23, 2011 at 9:15 am | Permalink

    Of all the moments of the day that I am looking forward to, this time is one of my most anticipated. Jut hanging around with my girls and my family, seeing everyone getting ready. I can't wait. Thanks so much for sharing!

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

About

Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

More here.

image by Lucy Stendall Photography

Find me a random post

Find:

Follow: