Date Night

‘Date Night’. I don’t know why but the expression makes me cringe. The sentiment, I love. But why does it have to be called ‘Date Night’? Eeew. Not that I have any suggestions as to an alternative. We call it ‘No-it’s MY-turn-to-choose-what-we-do-this-time-you’ve-had-like-5million-goes-at-deciding’ time.
I think spending quality time together, for us certainly, is akin to trying to disarm a nuclear bomb whilst singing ‘Barbie Girl’ into a hairbrush. Nigh on impossible, but definitely worth having a go! No matter how much we plan and plan and plan to spend the day/night/weekend together-something manages to kick sand in our faces. Why is this? Is it just us? We both work long hours, on top of a 60 hour working week I also drive an obscene number of miles every day and can quite often be out of the house from 6am to 8pm. Phil works shifts. We both work weekends. There.Aren’t.Enough.Days.In.The.Week. Or hours in the day.
Our latest ‘but I never seeeeeeeee you’ drama was a 3 day pre-Christmas break in Exeter. Yum. Drive down on Sunday morning, shop, see the in-laws, hole up in a boutique hotel and possibly surface for pasties and cappuccinos. And then maybe come home on Tuesday evening. But noooooo. No massive car breakdown/gas explosion/wardrobe trauma…just life, getting in the way. We’ve said that we’ll have a New Year break instead and yet we both know this is highly unlikely-jobs and bills and families and blah blah blah will find a way to throw several large spanners in the works, I just know it.
I know, I’m being grouchy and miserable and actually pretty darn selfish. I have a wonderful husband, a pretty home, a good job and lots of nice things (I do like a nice thing…!) and the time we do spend together is nothing short of perfect as long as the football isn’t on. But I’m a fickle lil lady and I occasionally find myself getting jealous of other couples who have jobs and lives that mean they can go to Exeter for a 3 day break, or pop to London for a long weekend. Nasty, materialistic, green-eyed me.
And I know that ‘quality’ time isn’t just spent together during long weekends and posh nights out. Truly I do. The most wonderful evening we’ve had, possibly since our honeymoon and obviously apart from Fliss’ wedding, was Fireworks Night. We bought enough picnic food to feed a rugby team, wrapped up warmer than a pair of warm things and walked to the top of Watership Down (from the book!the book about the poor bunny rabbits!) and from the highest point for miles around, we watched dozens of firework displays taking place. We talked, we ate, we got a wee bit tiddly and we ‘oooohed’ and ‘aaaahed’ like we were 5 years old. And then we nearly killed ourselves stumbling home. But it was magical. Beautiful and simple and 2 hours of the highest quality time I could have requested. All on a whim, with less planning that making a cup of tea.
It’s nights like that one that I want more of. I don’t really want to be whisked off on city breaks every other weekend. I don’t need to be taken out for dinner twice a week. We don’t need to plan ‘Date Night’ because when we need it, ‘Date Night’ happens on it’s own.
But if it could happen on it’s own more often, that’d be just peachy.
Categories: Marriage
4 interesting thoughts on this


  1. Posted November 26, 2010 at 10:22 am | Permalink

    I hear you. We too have good jobs, a nice house, lovely things (I love things too) but we haven't had a decent break away together for ages. But sometimes, it is the spontaneous moments that end up being the loveliest. We work within 5 minutes of each other, and he will phone to take me out for lunch at short notice and tell me that his day has just got better for seeing me – that makes me smile x

  2. Posted November 26, 2010 at 10:55 am | Permalink

    I love the bonfire night story, so so lovely!

    The best thing that happenned to me yesterday, on a rare day off, was for my husband to pop home for a cuppa in his lunch hour. He could only stay 20 minutes but that was enough time for a cuddle on the sofa and I was on cloud 9 for the rest of the afternoon!

    You have probably gathered by the fact I'm very easily pleased that I'm a cheap date x

  3. Posted November 26, 2010 at 8:17 pm | Permalink

    We tried to do date night but has never really worked. Instead we just try to enjoy the little moments, long lazy mornings in bed, car journeys together.

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  • By On being a ‘grown-up’… on February 29, 2012 at 12:17 am

    [...] when I left home. A bit like Jessie the Cowgirl, when her owner Emily grew up. Last year I had a wonderful Bonfire Night in a different-but-good-different kind of way. It was the kind of night we needed together, as [...]

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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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