The Newly Wed Diaries

As we get closer and closer to our own wedding, I’ve begun thinking about after the day itself and what the bit after it will be like. You know, the marriage part. 
Will being a Mrs feel different to a Miss? (That’s if I decide that I will be a Mrs) Will our relationship change? What will change? Will him being seemingly incapable of separating washes into white and colours suddenly become an endearing trait? Or, will it suddenly become even more annoying than it already is?

So today the lovely Aisling of Rock My Wedding fame (if you haven’t seen her fabulous homemade back garden wedding, complete with vintage dress, yet, you absolutely must go and see it now – it’s here, here and here – no really, go), is here to tell us exactly what the first few months of marriage has been like for her….and she’s only gone and done it pretty damn beautifully….


The Newly Wed Diaries
Hi, I’m Aisling! Yup, that’s how I’m going to start my guest post on this gorgeous blog. I wrote and rewrote and rewrote and rewrote (HOW wrong does rewrote look when you see it over and over and over….?) my introduction to this piece, trying to be funny, clever, self-deprecating and a whole host of other things it would be great for you guys to think that I am. After a cup of tea, half a tub of Ben and Jerry’s (Cookie Dough is my poison) and a quiet word with myself, I decided to go for the obvious. A greeting and my name. Sorted.
I’ve been married for 11 weeks and 4 days to the wonderful Mr. Alsopp. Those 11 weeks and 4 days have been…pretty normal, actually. The day after our backyard wedding is lost to me in a haze of Pimms induced hangover and Operation Clear-Up. The few days after that were quiet; we spent time with our 4 newborn kittens (born at 7am on Wedding Day!) and Mummy Cat, Lucy. We cleaned the house and packed for our Honeymoon in Paris. Paris was to die for. I’m learning French so I can go and live there. We. So WE can go and live there. Freudian slip!
Life continues in the same fashion as it did, as it has done for the last 5 years and 9 days. We live together, we love each other and we argue about who last cleaned the bathroom. (FYI-Me. Always Me.) He grows vegetables, with varying degrees of success and I cook with them, with varying degrees of success! When He cooks, it is always successful and I am always jealous. I buy dresses too often and He buys unnecessary car parts too often. We work hard, we don’t play enough. We spend time with friends, with our families and we plan for our future. We dream of the day our first child is born and of the Golden Retriever that will complete our Family. He’ll be called Dumbledore.
 
None of this is new to us. We have always worked/played/hoped/dreamed in the same ways and will continue to do so, albeit about different things as life progresses. You will find, after you have uttered the immortal ‘I Do’, that people’s favourite question to ask (after ‘So when can we expect Grandchildren?’) is ‘Does it feel different now you’re married?’ and I felt, briefly, that I was abnormal for answering ‘Erm…Not really!’ But my quiet, unassuming, so-laid-back-he’s-horizontal and not all that eloquent husband nailed it with the following sentiment as I struggled yet again to answer the stupidest question in all of marriagedom…
‘No. It’s not as if I could love her any more than I already do’.
And that’s it. We already loved each other to the point of no return. Marriage made it legal and official and was a fabulous excuse for a party with our whole family. But it didn’t change anything. And I love that.
*Stunning picture by the fabulous Simon Fazackerley  – the hero of the day at Aisling’s wedding…if we get just one picture like that from our day I will be simply ecstatic.
Categories: Marriage
18 interesting thoughts on this

17 Comments

  1. Posted September 7, 2010 at 12:32 pm | Permalink

    Aisling……

    This is truly beautiful. Seriously, I held my breath the whole way through and everything.

    Loving each other to the point of no return…

    It's like the perfect W-day poetry.

    Charlotte xx

  2. Posted September 7, 2010 at 1:52 pm | Permalink

    Aisling… I'm going to start with your name.

    That actually gave me shivers. Real ones, with goosebumps and all.
    I will bookmark this page and when I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the wedding planning I will read your post and remember that it's just a party. The real part is the loving each other… and that won't change.

    Thank you so much.

    Naomi

  3. Posted September 7, 2010 at 1:55 pm | Permalink

    Aisling! This is AMAZING! You seriously had nothing to worry about – you wrote right from your heart and did a beautiful job!

    "Loving each other to no point of return" is also my favorite line. You always hear that "everything changes" post wedding – its refreshing to hear that that isnt always the case! Great job!!

  4. Posted September 7, 2010 at 3:14 pm | Permalink

    Love this post!

    Dumbledore is such a great name!!

  5. Posted September 7, 2010 at 3:37 pm | Permalink

    Truly beautiful post, gave me goosebumps! xxx

  6. Posted September 7, 2010 at 4:13 pm | Permalink

    I love your comment at the end on loving each other to the point of no return! What a lovely thing to say.
    Great post, really well written and I agree with every word! It's been nearly 3 years since I got married and I feel the same I did the day before, the day of and the day after the wedding! :-D
    Sophie x

  7. Posted September 7, 2010 at 4:22 pm | Permalink

    I have several comments to make:

    1. Aisling thatnk you SO much for writing this – you did it totally beautifully, and made us all feel a little bit goosebumpy and emotional.

    2. In a completely shallow way, HOW stunning have the two people I've chosen to guest post so far been!? Like, wow. You and the man are absolutely bloody gorgeous.

    3. I love that your man said that – what a great comeback, and so simple and heartfelt – do you think it will be as good if I just tell my man that he should say that whenever asked?!

    xx

  8. Posted September 7, 2010 at 4:44 pm | Permalink

    A lovely post, reminding us all of what weddings should really be about. What's behind the big party. Really moving x

    And yes Fliss, they're all beautiful x

  9. Aisling
    Posted September 7, 2010 at 6:21 pm | Permalink

    Hi ladies!

    Thank you all so so so much for your lovely comments and loveliness in general! As ridiculously nervous as I was, I enjoyed writing this post an awful lot and seeing it here on Fliss' amazing blog has made my week.

    So thank you Fliss! You're doing such a spectacular job and it's been a real honour. Looking forward to meeting you soon!

    x

  10. Anna K
    Posted September 7, 2010 at 10:24 pm | Permalink

    FINALLY I get to comment on this, have been wanting to do so all day! Gorgeous writing, and quite right that it gave everyone goosebumps.

    If I were Aisling I would hang that quote on my wall. Or tattoo it down my spine. Or something. 'Tis the stuff poetry is made of!

    I concur with things staying the same. Except, I get a big sappy grin every time I am referred to as a wife. Dishrag hag my arse, I absolutely love it, makes me feel all sexy and chosen.

  11. Aisling
    Posted September 7, 2010 at 10:29 pm | Permalink

    Bahaha… I'm going to have 'dishrag hag my arse' tarried down my spine!

    Cept I'm not, obviously… Quite right with the sexy, chosen feeling Anna-still getting used to the 'wife' bit though!

    X

  12. Aisling
    Posted September 7, 2010 at 10:31 pm | Permalink

    Um. Tattoed. Not tarried. Obviously.

    There I go…Spoiling the joke!

    X

  13. Posted September 8, 2010 at 12:42 pm | Permalink

    you've nailed it on the head – i got married in december and was subject to the 'does it feel different' 'when are the children coming' business – so tiresome!!!

    haha… when the children do come you'll have 9 months of 'helpful advice' (i'm 5 months into mine… might have to strangle next person who says 'you need one of these'!)

    fab piece, well done xx

  14. Posted September 9, 2010 at 8:06 am | Permalink

    Great post. So glad you mentioned the 'how does it feel to be married?' stupidest question in all of marriedom question. I actually think the big question to ask is 'How does it feel to be engaged?' That really did make me feel something.

  15. Posted September 13, 2010 at 9:09 am | Permalink

    Really beautiful writing Aisling. I too have recently got married (7 weeks ago) and we were asked the same question and although it doesnt feel that different I would say it feels more like a partnership now. The children questions are ridicules and annoying. The main thing we both found was the feeling of the "wedding come down" the excitment and planning was all over so quickly especially after coming back from honeymoon it was a bit like what do we do now? (it also didnt really help having to come home to a kitchen we couldn't use due to it flooding a few weeks before the wedding and still waiting for the insurance company to sort it out!)
    I can't wait for the next part xx

  16. Posted September 19, 2010 at 7:07 pm | Permalink

    What a heart-warming and honest post Aisling – and thank you also for the Twitter follow tii! (which drew me to this post in the first place!!) Congratulations on your recent marriage – I wish you happiness forever :)
    Much love,
    Annabel xXx

  17. Posted October 17, 2010 at 11:06 pm | Permalink

    Lovely lovely post. I got married 2 months ago, and like Stacey said we don't feel different, put more like a partnership and a family. Oh how wonderful it is to be married! x

One Trackback

  • By One Year Later… on February 29, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    [...] The first post I wrote for Clare and Any Other Wedding was a semi-rant about the frequency with which I was asked ‘Does it feel different now that you’re married?!’ I talked about how it wasn’t different, not for us. How we loved each other so very much already that it couldn’t possibly have gotten any better. [...]

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

About

Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

More here.

image by Lucy Stendall Photography

Find me a random post

Find:

Follow: