Don’t try this at home

I have made a significant wedding related error, and felt it only right to share it with you all. I’m SURE that no-one else will ever do this, as it is SO SO STUPID, but you know, in the interests of public warning, I thought it best to tell you what I we I did.

I invited more people to the wedding than the venue can actually accommodate.


We invited 86 people to a venue that can only accommodate 70 people for the meal.


I have no real excuse for this other than an absolute #projectwedddingfail.

When we were originally looking for venues, we had a rough guest list, and knew that we needed somewhere that could take 70 people. Thus this was the question we asked at all of the venues we visited, and were of course assured bythe chosen venue that that would be no problem.

For some, known only unto higher beings, reason, I completely removed this piece of information from my mind, and as time moved on, and we remembered more people that it would be nice to invite, we just added them on to the list. A list that rapidly grew from 70, to 86.

It was only when I was wondering about the limit for the evening part of the day, that I thought to ask the venue what the limit might be for both.

Seeing SEVENTY written on the returning email gave me that sort of stomach wrenching, heart dropping, slightly giddy feeling that accompanies all realisations of a major cock-up. The ‘oh crap, I just sent that email describing in intimate detail my latest conquest destined for my best girl pal, to my boss instead’ feeling.* Except worse. 

So now, I may be the first person ever to be anxiously waiting for RSVPs to roll in, hoping beyond hope for DECLINES. We have already had 6 declines, so we are down to 80. Hoping for 10 more may be a little over optimistic, but it’s all I’ve got.

I’ve also sent a begging email to see if there is the possibility of fitting any more then 70 in. Even if it means me and the man perching on bar stools or something.

Because I can not UNINVITE people.
So yes people, be warned. Wedding stupidity can take over at any point.

* What…you mean you haven’t done that? Surely that’s like a right of passage or something?
Categories: Wedding Planning
9 interesting thoughts on this


  1. Posted September 2, 2010 at 11:25 am | Permalink

    Eek. Not sure what to say really – apart from I'm sure that it'll eventually work out okay, even if you have to suffer for a few weeks while you don't know if it will or not! Will keep my fingers crossed for you.

  2. Posted September 2, 2010 at 3:59 pm | Permalink

    Argh! See what the wedding pressure does. Fingers crossed you get those 10 rejections or its a picnic outside for the extras!

  3. Becca
    Posted September 2, 2010 at 7:22 pm | Permalink

    Are any of these 80 children because you could always put children in a separate room with a sitter for a couple of hours for the meal and speeches so parents can enjoy themselves and you have more space?

    I was a bridesmaid recently and didn't eat anything (I would have spilled something on my dress). Could you ask anyone i.e. your bridesmaids not to eat?

    Are any couples very very into PDA? Could you ask them to sit on each other's knees?

    Exchanging long tables instead of round?

    Picking fights with the 10 people you think most likely to get annoyed and not come?

  4. Anonymous
    Posted September 2, 2010 at 10:19 pm | Permalink

    Don't worry, I did the same thing… People do drop out!

  5. Posted September 2, 2010 at 11:15 pm | Permalink

    Ach don't worry. I invited fewer people than I really truly wanted to because of thinking I needed to keep numbers down for the venues but really? We could've squeezed in a few more. It'll be fine.

  6. Posted September 3, 2010 at 9:24 am | Permalink

    @ Emma – thanks – I have pretty much everything that can be crossed, crossed too!

    @ Clair – I know – I blame the pressure. it's nothighn to do with my total inability to plan.

    @Becca – fabulous ideas. Love them all. Particularly liking the public display of affection one – we've got a couple that'll probably sit on one another's laps anyway even if we do provide them with separate chairs, so thats one chair saved straight away!

    @ anon this is what I'm hoping for

    @ Catherine – thanks for your calming words. Feeling a bit better about it already…

  7. Posted September 3, 2010 at 2:41 pm | Permalink

    Oh huni, you are not alone! I did the same thing. We had max of 80 capacity for the island we're getting married on. We invited 90 as we figured getting married abroad meant that certain people wouldn't come and it would be a nice 'gesture' to invite them! We had 86 replies saying 'yes'! Eeshk! Just hoping we'll be able to work around it! Or people will drop out! :0) But whatever happens I'm sure both our venue's will work around it. (or here's hoping! :0)) xx

  8. Anna K
    Posted September 5, 2010 at 10:43 am | Permalink

    Hi Fliss, just seen this. I know you must feel so worried but honestly, you will be surprised at how flexible venues can be. You are paying them a lot of money – they can fit an extra 10 for you – even if it's putting one more person on per table…they will do it. Places often say that the maximum is less than full capacity. Don't give it any more thought…and concentrate on looking fab for your hen!
    Anna K

  9. Posted September 6, 2010 at 1:50 pm | Permalink

    @ Mission2wed Oh my god – this makes me feel so much better – we can be in this dilemma together!

    @Anna K Thank you lovely – it seems like the venue might be able to squeeze a couple of extra in, so with a few more declines, it should work out. And yay – hen in 10 days… Whooop!


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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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