An Unlikely Love Story {Part 3}

It was a bit of a spur of the moment thing to email Sam and ask if she’d be interested in writing a guest post for Any Other Wedding. But after all of the lovely comments on the last two parts of Sam and Monty’s story,  I’m so glad that I did. For her and for us. For her, it’s great to hear all of the happy endings from you guys, and I’m pretty sure it must make Sam feel much better to know that there are others out there who’ve been through it all, and come out smiling on the other side. And for us, it’s a very timely reminder that getting married isn’t all about you, and sometimes part of it is about appeasing our families and keeping other people happy.
An Unlikely Love Story continued…
When I put on my outfit to wear to the mosque (I had to be covered from head to toe, so I was dressed in a white and silver fitted tunic, on top of white maternity trousers and a veil on my head) I had a full-blown panic attack and passed out. Ever the drama queen, but it meant that the ceremony itself passed by in a blur.
From what I can remember of it, it was incredibly unromantic – the guy who conducted it left his phone switched on, and compared a woman to a garment of clothing because they’re there to support the man! But I felt an incredible rush of relief when it was over, and I was finally allowed to hold his hand in front of his parents. It was what we’d wanted all along, and it made all the hard times and all the panic worthwhile. I didn’t have to be my OH’s dirty little secret anymore.
The reception itself was a rainbow of colours and was out of this world! When I put on the traditional red lengha and all the jewellery (I have never ever put on so much bling in all my life), I felt transformed. I actually felt like a princess, which helped me to ignore the fact that it weighed more than a stone and took a lot of Nurofen to numb the pain! I felt like a completely different person, but in a good way. I walked with my head held high, and a HUGE smile on my face. When we first got together, I’d dreamed of having an Indian wedding, and this is what I’d imagined all along.
My OH, in his curled slippers and bejewelled coat, looked like Aladdin and I welled up when I saw how handsome he looked. He was glowing, which made me so happy that I’d gone ahead with this for him. When we stepped into the hotel reception, little girls would stare at me, open-mouthed and ask their mums if I were a princess. It felt incredible, and made all the hurt and hassle we’d been through worth it.
We walked into our venue behind a parade of people, with a drummer boy beating his way through the crowd. People were singing and dancing, a real carnival procession, and I finally realised that they were happy for us. They wanted to celebrate with us, and they wanted to rejoice. By the time we reached our thrones (yes, our thrones!) and everyone walked up to the stage to greet us (again, they’d put sugar into my mouth), I’d properly embraced the atmosphere and the situation.
I think in my head, I’d wanted to hate the whole experience because I was so angry that I’d been forced into the day. But the reception truly was amazing – the plates of food were delicious, and the outfits people were wearing were incredible. Clichéd it may be, but it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. A chance to play dress-up in the most incredible costume box of them all.
However much I enjoyed it though, it was a huge relief to be able to go to a hotel room that night and openly stay with my OH. The lies, the pretence – it was done and we could finally be who we wanted to be.

Apparently it’s tradition in Indian cultures to continue the celebrations the day after with a less formal introduction to the family. So the next day, we dressed up once again for the final act of them all, a big family dinner at his parents’ house. This time I was dressed in a turquoise lengha, while Monty was allowed to stick with a suit. Wandering through the hotel like we were some bit-part extras for a Bollywood movie felt slightly surreal but, again, I felt like a princess or some Z-list celebrity.

When we finally got to his house and he reached for my hand, the sun – thinly veiled behind puffy white clouds – slowly spread across the sky. I know it sounds cheesy, but at that moment it felt like everything was going to be alright. Monty was glowing and happier than I’d ever seen him before – he literally shone. It was then I realised I’d done the right thing. After everything he’d done for me, I owed him this.

The food at the party was, as ever, amazing. Now that my nerves were gone and I felt I could finally relax, I ate and ate and ate. Well, three plates of food…although the relaxing meant that I spilled spinach curry all down the skirt of my dress. In every photo I had taken afterwards, I had to leave my scarf draped across the front of my skirt to cover the nasty green stain

Categories: Wedding Reports
14 interesting thoughts on this

14 Comments

  1. Posted August 25, 2010 at 10:17 am | Permalink

    So beautiful!

  2. Posted August 25, 2010 at 10:30 am | Permalink

    Aw, thank you! Making me blush :)

  3. Anonymous
    Posted August 25, 2010 at 10:39 am | Permalink

    I was in floods of tears as I read all 3 parts of this! Sam you look absolutely stunning and you both look like it was all meant to be!! More than many I understand the sacrifices you are making and will make for your future with Monty, and of course he for you! Stand up for what you believe in and there will be happy times ahead!
    I would love to know how YOUR family and friends reacted to the choices you made! I know now that people were actually writing off our future, even as they toasted us on our wedding day!! I'm happy to show them how far we have come!
    Thank you so much for sharing both the happy and the troubled times with us. I like to think that it takes a special person to marry into a different culture. Special AND strong! You show 'em girl!

    Michelle xx

  4. Posted August 25, 2010 at 10:54 am | Permalink

    What a beautiful comment! Thank you so much :)
    I wrote this story mainly so that I could show people in similar situations that you can get through anything if you really love someone.

    My family and friends are very protective of me and have always been worried about how his family have treated us. But my best friends and my family were at the ceremony because they absolutely adore Monty – my mum cried when she saw us both together on the day!

    I just hope that the hard times are over now! Thank you so much for your support :)

    x

  5. Posted August 25, 2010 at 12:07 pm | Permalink

    Thanks so much for sharing, Sam, it's been a really fascinating and interesting read. I'm sorry you had to go through so much, but so glad that you managed to enjoy the day(s) in the end, and it must be amazing now that you two are married and "accepted". And you look absolutely stunning, wow!

  6. Posted August 25, 2010 at 1:13 pm | Permalink

    Ah Sam! I love that last picture of you both – it's just the best!

    Not just an incredible story, but an incredible journey too. It shows that when there's true love any obstacle can be defeated or, in your case, embraced.

    You've had a terrible, terrible time of it and I don't envy you one bit. You're such a brave woman. What I do bloody envy is that gorgeous red lengha!

    Congratulations darling, to you and Monty. I hope you have a fantastic hen party this weekend and please, please keep us posted on your 'other' wedding.

    Much love xx Becca xx

  7. sam_thorne
    Posted August 25, 2010 at 1:30 pm | Permalink

    Aww, thank you all so much for all your support. I've said it before, but it means so much to both Monty and myself.

    I'm happy that we went ahead with all this because it's made us appreciate each other all the more. You know someone is 'The One' when you're willing to do that for them.

    Glad you liked the pics…the outfits really were out of this world! So so heavy though. I have no idea what to do with them now though?!

    Anyway, I'm sure you'll all be hearing about the other wedding. The complete opposite of the Indian one – no bling, no fuss, nothing!
    x

  8. Posted August 25, 2010 at 1:32 pm | Permalink

    I'm sure you'll still look fabulous.

    Can't wait to read more, chuck xx

  9. Anonymous
    Posted August 26, 2010 at 7:05 am | Permalink

    Goosebumps!

    What a beautiful love story. Except it's not just a story, it is true, real and alive.

    Thank you so much for sharing this and do come and tell us about your other wedding.

    Lucy xx

    PS. Wow, are you two good looking or what!?

  10. Posted August 26, 2010 at 11:20 am | Permalink

    Ahhh thank you so much Lucy! I'm really glad I made the decision to write this blog. I had no idea people would find our story so interesting!

    I will definitely let you know all about the other day – hen party this weekend, very exciting!

    Will let Monty know about all these comments. He's a bit lonely and stuck in Brazil at the moment, so it'll cheer him up!

    x

  11. Posted August 26, 2010 at 4:09 pm | Permalink

    You look fabulous! I'm glad it was so worth it in the end for you both. True love really does require sacrifice and you've had both in spades. xx

  12. sam_thorne
    Posted August 27, 2010 at 9:18 am | Permalink

    Yep, you're right Sarah! It's how you know if you've met the right guy or not. You'd only sacrifice certain things for one man. :)

  13. Posted August 28, 2010 at 11:36 am | Permalink

    What an all round stunner of a story.
    I have to say that I have no real comprehension of how difficult that must have been for the both of you, but the look of sheer happiness on your faces in the last of those photos just lets us all know that it was clearly worth it.
    Sounds like you've landed yourself a total diamond of a man.
    Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
    xoxo

  14. sam_thorne
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 9:01 am | Permalink

    I always say that while it's been difficult, every couple has their problems and issues. Every couple also has their problems with in-laws!
    I would never have done it for anyone else, which is how I know it was worth it :) Monty really is something else!
    x

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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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