Sending a prayer

As any of you who follow me on Twitter will know, yesterday was not a good day in the world of Fliss and The Man’s Wedding Planning. 

Nothing in particular was bad, it was just the combination of realising that I have no dress, shoes, veil accessories or even underwear for the wedding and the men have no suits, shirts or ties, and we are now less than three months out, all nicely topped off with my hairdresser contacting me to say she was really sorry but wasn’t going to be able to do our hair on the day. It MAY have also been something to do with my hormones, but of course I will NEVER admit to that.
I KNOW that one way or another it will get sorted, even if I walk down the aisle in a white maxi dress and flip flops, and the man wears one of his work suits. But yesterday, it all became too much. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of wedding projects, and whatever anyone did to help, no-one could save me. Everyone tells me that planning a wedding from overseas means you have to lower your expectations, and not try to do the same things as everyone else. But *stamping feet* I DON”T WANT TO. I intend this to be my one and only wedding, and I’m not willing to do it half heartedly just because of the situation we’re currently in. Maybe I should  give myself some more slack, as everyone keeps telling me, but that’s easier said than done.
So poor Mr Anyotherwedding had to deal with the fallout last night. And he did the best thing he possibly could have done. 
He didn’t try to provide me with solutions (which anyone who’s read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus will know, is the worst thing you can do for a woman with a problem), or placate me with ‘it’ll all work out’ comments.
Instead he sat me down and told me that now, right now, is the time to write our prayer. We’re getting married in a C of E church, and the vicar (who I will tell you all about in another post) – he’s pretty special), has asked us to write our own prayer for the ceremony, and the man decided that last night was the time to sit down together and write it. 
And how right he was to do that. Not only did it force me to think of what I was thankful for, rather than focusing on whining and feeling sorry for myself, but it also gave me a huge, well needed reminder of why we’re getting married. It has nothing to do with the dress, or the hair, or the food or the bloody table plan, and everything to do with choosing each other for life. Writing the prayer together made us focus on the promises we were making to one another, and what we needed to do in order to keep those promises, even when things aren’t quite as wonderful as they are now. 
And somehow the man realised that last night, that was exactly what I needed.

He’s a keeper this one isn’t he?

 
Categories: Wedding Planning
7 interesting thoughts on this

7 Comments

  1. Posted August 13, 2010 at 9:41 am | Permalink

    I'm glad you're feeling better about it Mr Anyotherwedding sounds wonderful!

    xxx

  2. Posted August 13, 2010 at 10:54 am | Permalink

    He is indeed a keeper!

  3. Posted August 13, 2010 at 10:55 am | Permalink

    I am sure everything will come together in the end – and meanwhile it sounds like you have a fantastic guy by your side!! Best of luck xx

  4. Posted August 13, 2010 at 12:41 pm | Permalink

    Hang in there honey, it will come together try not to panic! He is a keeper that boy of yours xx

  5. Posted August 13, 2010 at 2:55 pm | Permalink

    So we're thinking I should defnitely marry this one then, yes?! xx

  6. Anonymous
    Posted August 13, 2010 at 8:22 pm | Permalink

    Fliss, he sounds perfect for you and you are going to marry him = coolio!!

    I have been there, and my boy brought me through the other side too, and for the record my wedding is taking place at home (literally 5 minutes walk from my bed).

    Remind yourself that it's ok to freak out about this life changing event, and that it's ok for your head to rush sometimes and to feel all outta control but focus and think – in 3 months you will be a wife and (without wishing it away now) you won't have to worry/procrastinate/panic/whatever it is you're feeling about weddings ever ever ever again – yay!

    That's how I dealt with it anyway.

    Two weeks to go for me now and I am blissing out (not rubbing your face in it(!) just trying to send some optimism down le web all the way to you in Russia)

    Lucy xx

  7. Posted August 16, 2010 at 10:30 am | Permalink

    Thanks Lucy – will take that bit of advice and use it regularly over the next few months I'm sure!

    So excited that your wedding is two weeks away (less now!) Whooooooop!

    xx

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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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image by Lucy Stendall Photography

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