An invitation to judge.

The invites were sent out yesterday. Which simultaneously fills me with huge levels of excitement, and an unaccountable feeling of anxiety.
The excitement is obvious. This is it. The wedding is there, in written form, un-erasable, no going back. We are formally announcing our forthcoming nuptials to the world. All of our friends and family will be getting home tonight, opening their front doors, stroking the cat, shouting at the dog, checking their post boxes, and finding proof of our wedding. As a friend pointed out, 70 households will be discussing our wedding tonight (which, actually, could account for the anxiety – that many people, all talking about us? Not sure I can cope with the attention. My ears are already burning at the mere thought of it)
But I think, dear Internet, that the real reason for my anxiety is this. We I spent hours picking card colours and weights, and fonts, and creating the design, and picking the ribbon, and choosing the envelopes, and writing the text (you may remember how I am a non-creative, so you can imagine the difficulty I had), that I have a sort of emotional attachment to them now. They are my baby invites. I created them. This is the first creative project I have completed and felt vaguely proud of since I made a green and red clay pot in school when I was 11 (which, by the way my parents obviously weren’t too proud of – it lived on a shelf in the downstairs cloakroom – the home for all things that that are not good enough to be out on show).  And now my little baby invites have gone out to find their new homes – to be propped up on mantle pieces, and pinned to fridges with long forgotten holiday souvenir magnets,  to be added to people’s to-do-piles, all over the world (we are, by necessity, having quite a global gathering).
And in sending out these invites we are making a statement about ourselves and about the wedding we intend to have aren’t we? Across the UK tonight, people will be judging not only my handwork and crafting ability, which I’m aware  is pretty poor, but our choices. They may not even be consciously doing it. They may be positively judging it (please god). But they will be forming an opinion. To some the invites may seem too flashy, to others not flashy enough. The wording will almost certainly be judged as to informal for many. People may even be questioning our venue choice.
So yep people, that’s the extraordinarily shallow reason for my anxiety. It appears that I DO care what other people think of us, and more importantly our wedding. I blame the wedding industry (and my addiction to Style Me Pretty a few months previous)
PS The keen eyed of you out there will notice that I haven’t actually posted a picture of them. I am trying to work up the courage. Because, you know, what if YOU all don’t like them?! I think that could send me over the edge of the anxiety cliff.
Categories: Wedding Planning, Wedding Pretty
8 interesting thoughts on this


  1. Posted August 5, 2010 at 10:15 am | Permalink

    Fliss, I am sure your invites are beautiful, its always nice to be able to put a personal stamp on your wedding and its increasing popular for brides to make their own invitations. Get posting some pics I am dying to see :)

    Laura x
    Little White Book

  2. Posted August 5, 2010 at 10:27 am | Permalink

    I think it's allowed to care what people think – it's only natural, especially when it's something you've created yourselves. I was worried about what people would think of ours but we had a fantastic reaction to them. I'm sure people will love them – everyone loves a bit of homemade and it's a much more personal thing t receive. I'm with Laura – pictures please!

  3. Posted August 5, 2010 at 10:43 am | Permalink

    You know what? People were so lovely about my lame attempt with random Hobbycraft products. I think we forget that our loved ones aren't as judgemental as the blogosphere, and that the Granny who wore a macaroni necklace you made will be delighted with your handiwork!

    P.S. Yay! It's official!

  4. Posted August 5, 2010 at 11:09 am | Permalink

    You're not the only one – I have created our wedding invitations myself and as I am a graphic designer by trade I feel people are expecting something amazing. I fear I won't be able to deliver.

    I'm sure your family and friends will love them! But yes, we need to see pictures :) x

  5. Posted August 5, 2010 at 1:15 pm | Permalink

    oooooooohhhh!!!!! how exciting!!!! please let us see a pic – i'm so jealous, i really wish i was getting married again (minus all the stress and last minute mega disasters!!). i can totally understand your feelings about letting your babies go, i hope you kept a couple behind to pop in your wedding album?! xx

  6. Posted August 5, 2010 at 1:38 pm | Permalink

    They won't you know, they'll think "I've been invited! Aren't I lucky – I can't wait". And then if they're women, they'll start fretting about what they can wear and how much weight they can lose by then!

  7. Posted August 5, 2010 at 3:22 pm | Permalink

    I agree Peridot, they wont. Wedding magazines tell us stationery sets the theme for your wedding…but does it really? Until now (planning my own big day) I didnt take the blindest bit of notice of the invitations other than the wheres and whens and then started to panic about my outfit! xxx

  8. Anonymous
    Posted August 5, 2010 at 6:58 pm | Permalink

    Oh I'm sure they are lovely. As it has been said above, you have a captive audience who want (and will) be delighted to be invited.

    It's like giving speeches at weddings, guests want to laugh because they want to show their happiness for you. Similarly, they are not going to think mean things about your crafting skills/venue/you, they just want to share in your happiness!

    Panic not, bet you five imaginary internet pounds you get an exicted 'yay! thank you' before the clock strikes 12.

    Oh and do share. Yay!

    Lucy xxx

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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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