I love Mr Darcy

I am a huge Jane Austen fan. I have read all of the books, watched all of the films and seen just about every TV adaptation going.  My hen weekend is in Bath and I have already demanded that we visit Jane Austen’s house, and I know I will come home with all sorts of bits and pieces. I have already eyed up the Jane Austen Pocket Bible – Perfect for every ‘what would Jane do’ dilemma.
And this ‘I love Mr Darcy‘, bag, because, well, who doesn’t love Mr Darcy?
But the point to this post, was really because when I was re-reading Northanger Abbey a few months ago, I came across this quote, made by Henry Tilney, to the unlikely heroine, Catherine Moorland, where he compares marriage to dancing….
“You will allow, that in both, man has the advantage of choice, woman only the power of refusal; that in both, it is an engagement between man and woman, formed for the advantage of each; and that when once entered into, they belong exclusively to each other till the moment of its dissolution; that it is their duty, each to endeavor to give the other no cause for wishing that he or she had bestowed themselves elsewhere, and their best interest to keep their own imagination from wandering towards the perfections of their neighbors, or fancying that they should have been better off with anyone else‚Ķ”
In Jane Austen’s normal witty manner,  she actually fairly accurately sums up what the man and I believe marriage to be about; choosing each other over all others; to be together because it makes both of you happier than you would be apart; to not give the other person reason to wish they weren’t married; and of course to avoid thinking of others.
I knew immediately that I wanted to incorporate it in to our wedding somewhere. I actually used it to line our envelopes (printed it out over and over again in small flowery writing in white on a grey background,) but really, that was just for me, as I’m sure every single one of those envelopes went straight in the bin without anyone even noticing.
I don’t think it’s long enough for a reading, and it’s obviously too long to have written in ‘posh grafiti’ or anything similar. So Internet, any ideas where in the wedding I can use it?
Categories: Books, Life Experience, Marriage
10 interesting thoughts on this


  1. Posted August 30, 2010 at 9:24 am | Permalink

    I beg to differ Fliss my love.
    I think that read at the right pace, it could be a gorgeous reading.
    I shall think more about it and get back to you with a few more ideas.

    In the meantime though…
    I have a confession.
    I have never read one Jane Austin book. Nor seen any of the films. Nor the tv dramas. So what am I missing?


  2. Anna K
    Posted August 30, 2010 at 10:41 am | Permalink

    Fliss, I think it would make a simply gorgeous reading. I think a shorter reading teamed with a longer reading makes great impact, and also this is perfect, you found it yourself, it's Jane Austen and I bet hardly anyone else has ever had it. Perfect stuff. If you're worried about length you could get the person reading it to do a short introduction, ie: "This is an extract from Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen, a book important to Fliss and Mr Fliss because…."

    Then it gives the guests some context.
    Anna K x

  3. Posted August 30, 2010 at 11:27 am | Permalink

    I think it's perfect – beautiful and fitting for you and your H2B.

  4. Posted August 30, 2010 at 12:48 pm | Permalink

    Really? So we think it's long enough for a reading? We've already chosen one reader and given him the reading we've chosen, so would have to have a think about who to ask. Any other options any one can think of?

    Ps. @Nayso – really?! Not even Pride and Prejudice? Darling, you are missing out. Romance, satire, pretty dresses and handsome men on horses – what more could a girl ask for?

  5. Posted August 30, 2010 at 4:23 pm | Permalink

    I'm having a short extract from Emma as a reading and its about the same length. Alternatively you could create word garlands like this from it http://katiedid.squarespace.com/katie-did-journal/2009/12/20/caroling.html

    This is my new favourite wedding decoration idea – so far this week…

  6. Posted August 30, 2010 at 6:05 pm | Permalink

    oh Fliss – I'd have noticed that on any invitation envelope – perfect idea.
    As a reading – I'd love to hear it in the ceremony and then re think about it as dancing later in the night.
    Or as a quote on the back of the menus?
    Kiara King those word garlands are a.mazing…. Could work over the dance floor (if that worked with your venue) as it is to do with dancing…
    Or a montage with the quote in the middle and photos of you and nearest and dearest in dancing photographs.
    Excited about what you choose.

  7. Posted August 30, 2010 at 8:23 pm | Permalink

    I agree completely w/ the above. I think it would make a lovely short but sweet reading, m'dear.

    Totally original. Go for it! xx

  8. Posted August 31, 2010 at 9:08 am | Permalink

    Ooh Kiara those word garlands are stunning! I love them – wonder if I could do something like that? Our dancefloor is in a room that has grade 2 listed wood panelling…so they certainly wouldn't want us pinning things into the wall… hmmmmmm….more thinking to be done…

    Also, I've seen these on the More than Words website -


    If anyone would like to buy me one with this quote on as a wedding gift, please feel free. You guys ARE buying me presents right?


  9. Posted September 1, 2010 at 6:03 pm | Permalink

    Fliss, I've only just stumbled across your blog and I'll be honest….you're freaking me out! It would seem that we were actually seperated at birth! The love of Jane Austen, the use of grey as a wedding colour, the bridesmaid dresses and now the canvas from more Than Words! I was looking at it last week on notonthehighstreet – decided to try and make my own for our house!

    So now that I am sufficiently weirded out, I'm going to follow your blog! It's fab…although I would say that, wouldn't I?! x

  10. Posted September 3, 2010 at 9:20 am | Permalink

    @ Katie – All the best people like Jane Austen, have grey as a wedding colour and like More than Words, (in my personal, totally unbiased opinion) so welcome!

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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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