Marriage, blogs, and me……

There are a lot of wedding blogs out there. Believe me, I have a google reader full of them. I have the traditional wedding blogs, that tell me that if I don’t cut the cake, and have my bridesmaids in matching wedding dresses, it’s not a perfect wedding. I have the indie wedding blogs, that tell me that if I don’t hand make 95 cupcakes the night before the wedding, (complete with pretty colour coordinated flag signs) and have my bridesmaids in mismatched dresses, it’s not a perfect wedding. And recently I’ve been subscribing to some that rail against both of these, and tell me that if I care about cakes and bridesmaid dresses, it’s not a perfect wedding.
So why, you may well ask, if there are so many wedding blogs out there already, have I started my own ‘wedding’ blog? It’s quite simple really. I want to create a space different to other wedding blogs. Somewhere that doesn’t just show pictures of other peoples beautiful weddings (which, by the way, are starting to make me feel very insecure – is anyone else getting that?). Somewhere where intelligent, wonderful women can discuss weddings, marriages, and all the rest of the baggage that comes along with the words ‘husband and wife’. I want to look at the issues surrounding matrimony that we all need to think about before we take the plunge and say I do, and then what comes after.

After spending more time than I care to think about reading wedding blogs, looking at wedding magazines, posting on forums, I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t believe in the perfect wedding, which seems to me to be what some of these blogs/magazines/forums are trying to sell us. I believe that we can all have our own wonderful, fabulous day, in our own special ways. I believe that everybody is different. Now, to some that means feeling like a princess for a day in front of all of their friends and family. To some that means running away and being just them and their partner. To some it means making the day as pretty and ‘them’ as they can. To some it means to have their wedding blessed by a higher being. But you know what? We’re all in it for the same reason. We’re all doing it because we want to be married.

For richer for poorer, for better for worse.*

And that, is what this blog is about. Its about giving you guys the space to talk about whats important to you in a wedding, and afterwards in marriage. It’s about accepting that we’re all different. Accepting that other people don’t necessarily want the same wedding as us, but that doesn’t make theirs (or ours), any less of a wedding, and any less special/wonderful/magical/insert your ideal wedding feeling here. I want to create a place where intelligent women can have open and honest discussions about what I believe are important issues, like eloping, second marriages (because yes, this will be the second marriage for my man), gay marriage, or (I’m going to whisper this) divorce, as well as occasionally looking at girly things.

When doing things like this (a blog type thing I mean, not a wedding), you’re always told to have a focus. A raison d’etre. So here’s mine (in as few words as possible). I want to create a blog where we (strong women, intelligent women, scared women, self conscious women….you….just you…..), can come together and give advice, discuss issues important to us, be inspired by other people’s weddings, and generally be who you want to be in a non judgemental arena, without feeling like you have to have a ‘perfect’ wedding. There are plenty of blogs out there that are all about the details of the wedding day (don’t get me wrong, I like details, really like details), but this is for thoughtful women who can see beyond the pretty to what it is that really makes a wedding.

I would love to be able to present weddings. Everyone’s weddings. Not just the pretty ones (although I do LOVE the pretty ones). The ones where you can see the love, even if the bride hasn’t spend hours devotedly sewing favours for each guest, because, actually, she was just too busy being in love with her man/woman, to be worrying about things like that. I want to hear about how being engaged/married/not married has affected your relationship, and advice that you have for others.

So….send me your stories. Send me your pictures. Send me messages telling me how you feel about your wedding (whether it’s happened, will happen soon, or is just some far distant thought at the moment). And, most importantly, tell me what you want to talk about (I mean it – write it in the comments box down below. Or just tell me that you hear me, and are interested to hear where I’m going with this. Just so I know I’m not alone out here, and that you’d be interested in more of this). Because I genuinely am interested in how other people are dealing with this crazy world of wedding and marriages. And of course, along the way I’ll tell you all about my my marriage journey, because, really it’s just that – a long and winding (and sometimes more difficult than you thought) road leading to the to the day after the wedding and then beyond.

Picture courtesy of webshots.com

* not that that means you have to be using this vow in your wedding – but I just think it kind of sums up what I think we are all doing this for. To say to the world, this is the one person that we know we want to be with, whatever happens, even if things aren’t as great as they are right now.
Categories: Behind the Scenes at AOW, Wedding Planning, Wedding Pretty
11 interesting thoughts on this

9 Comments

  1. Posted July 7, 2010 at 8:50 pm | Permalink

    Fabulous first post!

    You are so right when it comes to the conflicting messages about what makes your day 'you'. But I think the fact that it is you and your partner getting married is 'you' enough. Those having a 'traditional' wedding feel dull and uninspired next to the 'backyard brides', feel inferior next to their CL wearing counterparts. As long as the bride and groom look as happy as kids in a sweetie shop, the details arent whats remembered when the hungovers worn off xxx

  2. Anonymous
    Posted July 8, 2010 at 8:14 am | Permalink

    Brilliant first post. Know i'm going to be hooked-keep it going!
    I'm happy I found this blog – in the middle of planning of my own wedding and with all the options, wondering what i should and shouldn't have, trying to keep everyone happy I've realised that along as my h2b is waiting for me at the end of the aisle that's all i want. My h2b has said all along that we could get married in our lounge and he wouldn't care – he just wants to marry me and spend the rest of our lives together – its exactly THAT which is why i'm gettimg married to that wondeful man – whether i have pink flowers or white flowres really pales into insignficance – as long as I become Mrs. Hall on 19.05.2012

    Don't keep us waiting too long for your next post :) xxx

  3. Posted July 8, 2010 at 8:54 am | Permalink

    Totally Totally Totally – you have both understood exactly where I hope to go with this… thanks for the support!

    Fliss x

    And now I have another blog to add to my ever growing google reader – Thank you Tea Drinking Bride…

  4. Anonymous
    Posted July 8, 2010 at 9:44 am | Permalink

    Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

    You are so right, I'm with you. We are getting married in 7 weeks and totally share your philosophy. I'm so glad me and my boy aren't alone.

    x

  5. Posted July 8, 2010 at 12:52 pm | Permalink

    Emma – I religiously read A Practical Wedding. I admit that it (among other things) sort of inspired this blog. BUT I totally understand what you mean. It is intimidating, and you do feel like if you happened to mention that you thought you might like something pretty at your wedding, you'd be shot down and told that your wedding wasn't going to be about what it should be about, which maybe isn't true, but it is how I feel. I want this blog to be open to everyone, regardless of the type of wedding that they're having.

    Fingers crosses that's what we'll get.

    Fx

    Great blog by the way – shame we've already booked our honeymoon :)

  6. Posted July 8, 2010 at 2:36 pm | Permalink

    Sounds like you've got the right idea – am looking forward to reading more!
    Glad you liked the site – do drop me a line once you've been on honeymoon if you'd like to do a "real honeymoon" feature.

  7. Jess
    Posted July 9, 2010 at 5:14 am | Permalink

    Can't WAIT to read more of your blog – You have summed up exactly how we feel and expressed yourself so well! My fiance and i are getting married in January. Sometimes we kind of loose sight of the real meaning behind this occasion (not often!) but when i am oggling over another pair of shoes – that i think i really need for the evenving reception, Ed gently reminds me what its' really about… just US, and OUR future.

    Jess x

  8. Posted July 10, 2010 at 11:30 am | Permalink

    So very true my dear. Whilst it is wonderful to see the prettiness (and I do love much prettiness) it is not why I am getting married.

    My(our!) wedding will be a true reflection of us and our love. Perfection it won't be. I am rather happy about that.

  9. Posted June 6, 2011 at 1:15 pm | Permalink

    Nice post
    Marriage is one of the things which are the most talked about thing in every household once you move out of college and start earning

    Bengali matrimony

2 Trackbacks

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    [...] is a post that has needed to be written (and posted on AOW) for a long time. In my very very first post, I wrote about how it didn’t matter what type of wedding you were having, whether it were an [...]

  • By Dear Readers on May 24, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    [...] two years ago now I started this tiny little blog about my wedding. Some of you read it. Then not long after that, Aisling [...]

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Hello! We're Clare, Aisling and Anna and welcome to a corner of the world where smart, flawed, real women talk about the bigger picture; about their experiences, stories and opinions on all aspects of being a woman today, from marriage to feminism to pretty, too.

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